Writer Mercy Makinde, has shared her domestic violence story and yes, it is truly a must read.
Years ago I was a Victim today I AM A VICTOR! It took 10 years for me to heal…10 years to find myself!
Yes, the damage of Violence is long term and grave and can leave you permanently scarred. The trauma could last a life time!
am just one out of the lot! Yes, many women still suffer Domestic
violence because it remains widespread and is often considered “socially
acceptable” in Nigeria. This is the reason family, friends and even
some religious bodies do not see domestic violence as such a big deal.
would even say it is the fault of the woman. She would be advised to
keep her tongue in check, as that is often the factor that ignites the
provocation of an abuser from the standpoint of an average Nigerian.
truth is, Domestic violence is an organic behavior; there is no direct
cause. Victims often blamed themselves, as they are often times made to
believe they are the cause. So they always have to walk on eggshells, as
inconsequential infractions would often lead to unwarranted agitation
and eventual pummeling.
But Domestic Violence IS NOT A RESULT OF
PROVOCATION. I’m writing this in capital letters and I hope it sinks
in! Violence and Abuse is a tool used to enforce control and fear in a
relationship or marriage and not a momentary expression of anger.
it is not about what the women did it is more about the way abusers
are…just like you don’t have to do anything to be raped by a rapist!
These are men who have lost control of their senses and are overwhelmed at the slightest provocation.
So stop judging victims by saying they were battered because of an
imagined, perceived or rumored wrong or asking them annoying questions
like “what did you do that made him beat you”. Questions like these are
unintelligent and insensitive.
There is NO EXCUSE for Violence Against Women. And yes, no excuse for violence against men either.
Don’t justify it….don’t judge them!
I am a Victim turned Victor ready to help other victims. Join in , let’s make a difference! .