A mother and author of ‘Diary of a Special Needs Mum,’ Mrs. Bukola Ayinde, tells ARUKAINO UMUKORO about her pains on finding out that her four-year-old daughter with cerebral palsy was physically abused by her physiotherapist.
When was your daughter born and how did you feel when the doctor first told you she had cerebral palsy?
I had my daughter, Oluwalonimi, on a
Sunday morning, in December, 2012. It was an emergency Caesarean
operation. The doctor said I had gestational hypertension and severe
pre-eclampsia. The operation was successful; my daughter cried at birth
and she was fine. Nimmy, as we fondly call her, weighed 1.2kg at birth
and she was born premature at 31 weeks. She had to be placed in an
incubator. She spent her first six weeks in an incubator. She was doing
well until she had an apneic episode, which is a disorder that causes
one to stop breathing briefly. Thereby she suffered loss of oxygen to
the brain. At that moment I didn’t realise there was any danger in what
happened. By the time she left the hospital, she weighed 2.2kg and she
was feeding through a feeding bottle.
Sunday morning, in December, 2012. It was an emergency Caesarean
operation. The doctor said I had gestational hypertension and severe
pre-eclampsia. The operation was successful; my daughter cried at birth
and she was fine. Nimmy, as we fondly call her, weighed 1.2kg at birth
and she was born premature at 31 weeks. She had to be placed in an
incubator. She spent her first six weeks in an incubator. She was doing
well until she had an apneic episode, which is a disorder that causes
one to stop breathing briefly. Thereby she suffered loss of oxygen to
the brain. At that moment I didn’t realise there was any danger in what
happened. By the time she left the hospital, she weighed 2.2kg and she
was feeding through a feeding bottle.
When my daughter was four months, I
complained that she wasn’t able to hold her head properly. The doctors
said that being a premature baby, she may have delayed milestones, and
they told me to be patient. My husband’s aunt saw my daughter and
insisted I take her back for a proper medical checkup. An MRI scan was
carried out on her brain and the result came back as normal. We were
hopeful that she would catch up with her milestones, but the doctors
diagnosed cerebral palsy and treated her in that line. That was where
the journey began.
complained that she wasn’t able to hold her head properly. The doctors
said that being a premature baby, she may have delayed milestones, and
they told me to be patient. My husband’s aunt saw my daughter and
insisted I take her back for a proper medical checkup. An MRI scan was
carried out on her brain and the result came back as normal. We were
hopeful that she would catch up with her milestones, but the doctors
diagnosed cerebral palsy and treated her in that line. That was where
the journey began.
How have you been coping with raising a child with special needs?
I spoke with two pediatricians who said
there was no cure and that I should stick to physiotherapy. I bought
books and I read everything I could lay my hands on. We started taking
her for physiotherapy at Physical Therapy Centre, Lagos. I came across a
book written by a special needs mum. Based on her story, I got in touch
with her child’s therapist. The lady recommended I take Nimmy to a
specialised school in Lagos. Nimmy was there for six weeks. Then I read
another book about a woman who took her son to a school for children
with cerebral palsy in Hungary. I contacted the school and registered
her for their summer programme. This programme was for a month, but it
was very impactful.
there was no cure and that I should stick to physiotherapy. I bought
books and I read everything I could lay my hands on. We started taking
her for physiotherapy at Physical Therapy Centre, Lagos. I came across a
book written by a special needs mum. Based on her story, I got in touch
with her child’s therapist. The lady recommended I take Nimmy to a
specialised school in Lagos. Nimmy was there for six weeks. Then I read
another book about a woman who took her son to a school for children
with cerebral palsy in Hungary. I contacted the school and registered
her for their summer programme. This programme was for a month, but it
was very impactful.
What led to your introduction to the physiotherapist whom you said maltreated your daughter?
When we got back to Nigeria, we knew we
couldn’t afford to keep Nimmy in the school in Hungary, because the
one-month trip was very expensive. We also knew that going once a year
will not help her condition. Someone then introduced me to a therapist
who helped the way she could, but she told me I needed to get a very
good physiotherapist. Coincidentally, I read about a special needs mum
who shared her son’s success story in a church’s magazine. I got in
touch with the church; I collected the woman’s telephone number and told
her I needed a very good physiotherapist. She recommended Bisola
Abayomi Ojo.
couldn’t afford to keep Nimmy in the school in Hungary, because the
one-month trip was very expensive. We also knew that going once a year
will not help her condition. Someone then introduced me to a therapist
who helped the way she could, but she told me I needed to get a very
good physiotherapist. Coincidentally, I read about a special needs mum
who shared her son’s success story in a church’s magazine. I got in
touch with the church; I collected the woman’s telephone number and told
her I needed a very good physiotherapist. She recommended Bisola
Abayomi Ojo.
I told my daughter’s therapist that
someone recommended Bisola to me. She said she knew Bisola and that she
was very good at her job. She said I should convince my husband to
suspend going to Hungary for two years and dedicate that money to paying
Bisola. She assured me that I would see a great improvement with Nimmy.
However, she told me the reason she had not referred Bisola to me
earlier was because Bisola refused to work with a child with special
needs that she had referred to her. She said Bisola didn’t want to work
with her because they had earlier had a fallout while working together
with a client’s child. By that time, I had worked with several
therapists and I knew that when one had more than one therapist working
with a child, there was bound to be some form of misunderstanding. So I
didn’t let that bother me. I spoke with my speech therapist, who also
mentioned she also had a fallout when he and Bisola worked together with
a client’s child. Bisola started working with Nimmy in 2014. She was
dedicated to her job. She was the first therapist that gave us a monthly
report about our daughter. She would educate us about feeding,
nurturing and overall wellbeing.
someone recommended Bisola to me. She said she knew Bisola and that she
was very good at her job. She said I should convince my husband to
suspend going to Hungary for two years and dedicate that money to paying
Bisola. She assured me that I would see a great improvement with Nimmy.
However, she told me the reason she had not referred Bisola to me
earlier was because Bisola refused to work with a child with special
needs that she had referred to her. She said Bisola didn’t want to work
with her because they had earlier had a fallout while working together
with a client’s child. By that time, I had worked with several
therapists and I knew that when one had more than one therapist working
with a child, there was bound to be some form of misunderstanding. So I
didn’t let that bother me. I spoke with my speech therapist, who also
mentioned she also had a fallout when he and Bisola worked together with
a client’s child. Bisola started working with Nimmy in 2014. She was
dedicated to her job. She was the first therapist that gave us a monthly
report about our daughter. She would educate us about feeding,
nurturing and overall wellbeing.
Were there any time before
the CCTV footage discovery in 2016 that you felt something was not right
with how she was handling your daughter?
the CCTV footage discovery in 2016 that you felt something was not right
with how she was handling your daughter?
No. The therapy started at home and she
never showed any sign of aggressiveness. In fact, you could describe her
as sweet girl. I became an ardent supporter and a friend. Before we
made any decision about Nimmy, we would ask for Bisola’s opinion. Early
in 2016, I started noticing that my daughter was withdrawn, she stopped
smiling. I was told by her caregiver that she was not responding in
school and she had stopped attempting to answer questions. There were
times we would get to school in the morning and she would start crying.
She couldn’t express herself. Apart from her sounds, numbers and
colours, she couldn’t say anything more. We had to read her body
language to understand her needs. As a toddler, Nimmy was always smiling
and playful, but gradually she had become non-responsive. Also, early
that year, my husband and I decided we couldn’t afford to pay Bisola
three times a week anymore. So, we told her we were going to reduce it
to two times a week. She requested that we give her one more month to
work with Nimmy before we reduced the number of sessions. Bisola used to
have therapy sessions with my daughter in her school.
never showed any sign of aggressiveness. In fact, you could describe her
as sweet girl. I became an ardent supporter and a friend. Before we
made any decision about Nimmy, we would ask for Bisola’s opinion. Early
in 2016, I started noticing that my daughter was withdrawn, she stopped
smiling. I was told by her caregiver that she was not responding in
school and she had stopped attempting to answer questions. There were
times we would get to school in the morning and she would start crying.
She couldn’t express herself. Apart from her sounds, numbers and
colours, she couldn’t say anything more. We had to read her body
language to understand her needs. As a toddler, Nimmy was always smiling
and playful, but gradually she had become non-responsive. Also, early
that year, my husband and I decided we couldn’t afford to pay Bisola
three times a week anymore. So, we told her we were going to reduce it
to two times a week. She requested that we give her one more month to
work with Nimmy before we reduced the number of sessions. Bisola used to
have therapy sessions with my daughter in her school.
In June 2016, Nimmy’s proprietress at
Supreme House Montessori School requested that my husband and I come for
a meeting in the school. When we got to the school, she told us that
Bisola had manhandled our daughter. At the back of my mind, I felt it
was all exaggerated, but when I watched the CCTV footage, I was sad; I
didn’t know how to express my feelings. We watched an hour session where
Bisola tortured our daughter.
Supreme House Montessori School requested that my husband and I come for
a meeting in the school. When we got to the school, she told us that
Bisola had manhandled our daughter. At the back of my mind, I felt it
was all exaggerated, but when I watched the CCTV footage, I was sad; I
didn’t know how to express my feelings. We watched an hour session where
Bisola tortured our daughter.
It was heart-breaking to see my daughter
treated by a health worker in such a barbaric act. I watched my
daughter as she fell down several times hitting her head on the tiles.
There were times she hit her head on the edge of the wooden bed before
falling to the ground.
treated by a health worker in such a barbaric act. I watched my
daughter as she fell down several times hitting her head on the tiles.
There were times she hit her head on the edge of the wooden bed before
falling to the ground.
Her physiotherapist slapped her three
times; the third time with her cell phone. She left her head hanging
upside for five minutes. She twisted my daughter’s hands several times;
at a point she sat on her hands, at another point she tied her hands
behind her head. I watched as my daughter fell from her chair while her
neck was stuck in between the space at the vertical back rest and the
flat wood used for sitting down. I watched on as this lady typed on her
phone 90 per cent of the time, only taking some time off to torture my
daughter. She took out time to take her selfie, up to five times.
times; the third time with her cell phone. She left her head hanging
upside for five minutes. She twisted my daughter’s hands several times;
at a point she sat on her hands, at another point she tied her hands
behind her head. I watched as my daughter fell from her chair while her
neck was stuck in between the space at the vertical back rest and the
flat wood used for sitting down. I watched on as this lady typed on her
phone 90 per cent of the time, only taking some time off to torture my
daughter. She took out time to take her selfie, up to five times.
After we watched the recording, my heart
bled. My husband could not control his tears. He was bent over in
agony. I watched him cry and I envied him. I envied him because he could
cry, but I could not; I was numb. I am sure the proprietress looked at
me and thought to herself that, “This woman is strange, she couldn’t
even cry.”
bled. My husband could not control his tears. He was bent over in
agony. I watched him cry and I envied him. I envied him because he could
cry, but I could not; I was numb. I am sure the proprietress looked at
me and thought to herself that, “This woman is strange, she couldn’t
even cry.”
What were the thoughts going through your mind after you saw the CCTV footage and what did you do?
I have to say this, a special needs mum
is a broken woman. There is nothing that tears a woman apart than seeing
her child helpless and considered challenged and there is little that
she can do. On a daily basis, it takes away one’s energy, self-esteem
and, if one is not careful, one’s sanity. I kept asking myself, what if
the proprietress was not at her desk and her eyes did not go to the TV
at that time? This could have gone on for a long time without us knowing
what was happening to Nimmy. I got home and kept thinking, where did I
go wrong? I asked the nanny that follows my daughter to school why
Bisola was alone with Nimmy. She said Bisola asked her to step out of
the room that my daughter was not cooperating because the nanny was
there.
is a broken woman. There is nothing that tears a woman apart than seeing
her child helpless and considered challenged and there is little that
she can do. On a daily basis, it takes away one’s energy, self-esteem
and, if one is not careful, one’s sanity. I kept asking myself, what if
the proprietress was not at her desk and her eyes did not go to the TV
at that time? This could have gone on for a long time without us knowing
what was happening to Nimmy. I got home and kept thinking, where did I
go wrong? I asked the nanny that follows my daughter to school why
Bisola was alone with Nimmy. She said Bisola asked her to step out of
the room that my daughter was not cooperating because the nanny was
there.
My husband and I took Nimmy to see Prof.
Afolabi Lesi, a paediatric neurologist at the University of Lagos. He
told us he was worried about the number of times she hit her head, but
it was too late for an MRI. An MRI should have been done around the
period the abuse was done to determine if there was any damage to the
brain. Bisola was due to travel for her Mandela Washington programme two
days later, but I did not know her house address and I knew that
because she had a valid US Visa, if I had alerted her at that time, she
would run. We kept quiet and allowed her to finish her programme and
come back to the country. The truth was we didn’t really know how to
handle the matter.
Afolabi Lesi, a paediatric neurologist at the University of Lagos. He
told us he was worried about the number of times she hit her head, but
it was too late for an MRI. An MRI should have been done around the
period the abuse was done to determine if there was any damage to the
brain. Bisola was due to travel for her Mandela Washington programme two
days later, but I did not know her house address and I knew that
because she had a valid US Visa, if I had alerted her at that time, she
would run. We kept quiet and allowed her to finish her programme and
come back to the country. The truth was we didn’t really know how to
handle the matter.
When you confronted her with the CCTV footage, what was her reaction?
My husband and I decided she should come
over to our house with her husband for a meeting. She said she couldn’t
come with her husband because they had issues. I asked her to come with
her family member, but she said she had none in Nigeria. I then asked
her to come with her pastor. She replied that she was a Catholic and she
couldn’t come with a priest. Finally, I asked her to come with a
friend; but she said her only friend had relocated to the US last year.
She asked if she could come alone. We told her that wasn’t possible. It
became obvious she was playing games with us and we decided to report
the matter to the Medical Rehabilitation Therapists Board of Nigeria.
over to our house with her husband for a meeting. She said she couldn’t
come with her husband because they had issues. I asked her to come with
her family member, but she said she had none in Nigeria. I then asked
her to come with her pastor. She replied that she was a Catholic and she
couldn’t come with a priest. Finally, I asked her to come with a
friend; but she said her only friend had relocated to the US last year.
She asked if she could come alone. We told her that wasn’t possible. It
became obvious she was playing games with us and we decided to report
the matter to the Medical Rehabilitation Therapists Board of Nigeria.
When I showed the Registrar, Mrs.
Akanle, the video, she was very disturbed. She immediately requested
that we arrest Bisola. When we arrived at the first police station at
Shogunle, we were told we should go to the nearest police station to her
house. The Divisional Police Officer, being a woman, was enraged when
she watched the video. She gave us some of her officers to follow us to
Bisola’s house. When Bisola discovered that there were police officers
at her house, she locked herself up for more than three hours. She
called me on the phone pleading. When she refused to open the iron
barricade to her house, I got scared; I thought she was going to harm
herself. I called her and said I wasn’t going to press charges, that she
should come out of the house. Finally, she came out when her husband
got back from work. By the time we got to the police station, it was
already night time and I was tired. I had been on my feet for hours. The
DPO wanted to lock her up for the weekend; but both husband and wife
started begging. The husband said he would stand in for her to come in
every morning.
Akanle, the video, she was very disturbed. She immediately requested
that we arrest Bisola. When we arrived at the first police station at
Shogunle, we were told we should go to the nearest police station to her
house. The Divisional Police Officer, being a woman, was enraged when
she watched the video. She gave us some of her officers to follow us to
Bisola’s house. When Bisola discovered that there were police officers
at her house, she locked herself up for more than three hours. She
called me on the phone pleading. When she refused to open the iron
barricade to her house, I got scared; I thought she was going to harm
herself. I called her and said I wasn’t going to press charges, that she
should come out of the house. Finally, she came out when her husband
got back from work. By the time we got to the police station, it was
already night time and I was tired. I had been on my feet for hours. The
DPO wanted to lock her up for the weekend; but both husband and wife
started begging. The husband said he would stand in for her to come in
every morning.
Why did you decide to share your story almost a year after it first happened?
People have asked me why I took so long
to come out and talk about it, and why I dropped the charges. I had to
make a quick decision. My daughter was at home with two nannies that I
knew I could no longer work with. I had to go home and sit down with my
daughter. That was why I dropped the charges. So I handed her (Bisola)
over to the Registrar of Medical Rehabilitation Therapist Board.
to come out and talk about it, and why I dropped the charges. I had to
make a quick decision. My daughter was at home with two nannies that I
knew I could no longer work with. I had to go home and sit down with my
daughter. That was why I dropped the charges. So I handed her (Bisola)
over to the Registrar of Medical Rehabilitation Therapist Board.
What did the board do about the case?
A panel was set up and Bisola said she
had suffered from depression and ill health. It was decided that her
practicing license be withdrawn for three months. She was to work in two
general hospitals without pay and also undergo a psychiatric
evaluation.
had suffered from depression and ill health. It was decided that her
practicing license be withdrawn for three months. She was to work in two
general hospitals without pay and also undergo a psychiatric
evaluation.
A few weeks later I was told she had
taken permission to travel to the US to seek medical attention. I was
told not to worry because she couldn’t practice anywhere in the world
without a referral from their office. A few months later, I met with a
disability management advocate who watched the CCTV recording. She was
the one who informed me that Bisola was actually doing a master’s degree
programme.
taken permission to travel to the US to seek medical attention. I was
told not to worry because she couldn’t practice anywhere in the world
without a referral from their office. A few months later, I met with a
disability management advocate who watched the CCTV recording. She was
the one who informed me that Bisola was actually doing a master’s degree
programme.
When I went back to Medical
Rehabilitation Therapists Board, I realised they had not been in touch
with her since she left for medical treatment. The matter had gone cold.
But they said they would get in touch with her. But, after I had waited
for almost two months for something to be done, and I didn’t hear from
them, I knew I had to go to the press and tell my story because that was
the only way we could find her.
Rehabilitation Therapists Board, I realised they had not been in touch
with her since she left for medical treatment. The matter had gone cold.
But they said they would get in touch with her. But, after I had waited
for almost two months for something to be done, and I didn’t hear from
them, I knew I had to go to the press and tell my story because that was
the only way we could find her.
How have you been coping since that unfortunate incident?
I withdrew my daughter from school. I
took all her Individualised Education Programmes and drew up a new one
for her. I asked my friends who had children within her age bracket to
give me their children’s curriculum; I drew up a timetable for my
daughter and I started home schooling her. I employed an educated lady
to work with her. I also employed a school teacher to come in three
times a week. Gradually, with love and attention, my daughter blossomed
again. I must say, I have a very supportive husband who loves his
children dearly. This year, we were encouraged to put her back in
school. She goes to school three times a week and she is doing well. I
am working on storybooks that teach children about disability and also
the importance of showing empathy to children with disability. I pray
this becomes a subject that would be taught in schools. People should
not demonise disability, it is not a curse; it is a medical condition.
Let’s show some love.
took all her Individualised Education Programmes and drew up a new one
for her. I asked my friends who had children within her age bracket to
give me their children’s curriculum; I drew up a timetable for my
daughter and I started home schooling her. I employed an educated lady
to work with her. I also employed a school teacher to come in three
times a week. Gradually, with love and attention, my daughter blossomed
again. I must say, I have a very supportive husband who loves his
children dearly. This year, we were encouraged to put her back in
school. She goes to school three times a week and she is doing well. I
am working on storybooks that teach children about disability and also
the importance of showing empathy to children with disability. I pray
this becomes a subject that would be taught in schools. People should
not demonise disability, it is not a curse; it is a medical condition.
Let’s show some love.