that one day, God would answer me. I tried to keep myself busy with
counselling – I counselled people on various issues. I also tried to go
out frequently; I realised that whenever I stayed at home, I felt more
saddened about my issue. It was a trying period; there were times people
would not want me to hold their children. I was constantly abused and
tormented with hurtful words.
in search of an answer to my need. I underwent several rounds of In
Vitro Fertisation – seven in total.
insemination procedures. I also consulted the so-called helpers –the
good and fake ones. My husband and I spent a lot of money within the
period of 13 years. Each IVF procedure cost us about N1.5m; you can
imagine how much we spent on IVF alone. Despite the failed procedures, I
didn’t give up, I kept searching. Each time we tried a process and it
didn’t work, I would almost give up but my husband kept encouraging me.
He was so supportive, if not for him, I would have given up.
hope that I would become a mother someday. I tried as much as possible
to remain confident of the fact’that someday I would hold my own baby.
At some point though, one of my friends brought a pregnant, adolescent
girl to my house. She advised me to adopt the baby when the girl put to
bed – she was seven months pregnant. She said the girl was willing to
sell her baby for N500, 000. I turned down their offer and told them
never to enter my house again. The young girl was so willing to sell her
baby; she was excited. I felt angered by their offer; I kept asking
myself if they thought I would never be able to give birth to a child.
thought of not being able to conceive at 40 was loud and clear in my
head. It was at that point I gave up.
to a point where I gave up. I lost all hope of becoming a mother. I was
fed up searching and trying to conceive by all means. My husband and I
kept pushing hard – spending money, only to meet a brick wall. One
night, I cried and cried and said all sorts to God. I challenged God; I
said I was tired of trying to become a mother. I practically lost hope; I
stopped praying. I knew I was approaching 40 and I told God that he if
didn’t give me a child before I turned 40, He better not bother again. I
was frustrated. To my surprise, that period, I conceived.
about three months into my nine-month journey. I realised I had missed
my menstrual period. Even when that happened, I still doubted that I was
pregnant because I hadn’t begun to experience morning sickness. I went
for pregnancy test but refused to collect the result. I didn’t want to
hear ‘you are not pregnant’ again. The night I was rushed to a hospital
was when the doctor confirmed to me that I was pregnant. I didn’t
believe him; I kept telling him I had malaria.
to express myself. I was so anxious to see my growing tummy. I kept
analysing my tummy. My neighbours too were excited. I didn’t let people
observe my growing tummy until I was seven months pregnant. The day my
neighbours saw me taking a walk, they gathered around me; there was a
huge crowd, I felt so embarrassed. That was the last time they saw me
take a walk. I preferred to take walks at night.
of my baby. All I did was to buy unisex clothes. I wasn’t bothered if I
was pregnant with a boy or girl. I had waited 13 years to have a child;
the sex of my baby was not a priority to me.
caesarean section) I told the doctor I wanted to hold my baby in my
arms. I held her with the umbilical cord dangling and blood all over her
body. The doctors and nurses were surprised at my action – they didn’t
know I had waited for 13 years to experience that scene. Even when they
took her from me to bathe her, I felt they took a long time. I just kept
staring into her eyes; I cried from 10am to 6pm. My mother bought
N4,000 worth of airtime to call people; she was overjoyed.
many of them are out to exploit women. While I was running to different
places in search of a solution to my need, I met people who told me to
do all sorts. One told me to dry my faeces and take it with pap. I’m
glad I didn’t listen to any of them. Patience is an important virtue in
the journey of waiting to have children; women who are hoping to bear
children should have patience. They should live a happy life.