Aww, what’s wrong love? No gift today? Wonder why ….
It’s pretty simple and straightforward. You are a terrible person and nobody likes you.
I mean it. In a world where Valentine’s Day has become so
commercialized and can only be seen through the prism of cakes, gifts
and roses., if you haven’t received any of these by now, you only have
yourself to blame.
No one likes you. Probably because your attitude is bad and your behaviour is even worse.
Now I don’t care about your excuses; your significant other is far
away or nonexistent, you don’t believe in celebrating Valentine’s Day,
you don’t really know that many people and the like. If by this time of
the day, no one has sent you something, I am here to tell you that
something is wrong with you.
The one day in the year where it is allowed and encouraged for anyone
to express their undying love and affection for you in gift form and
they haven’t done so yet and you think all is well with you?
Don’t be fooled by all those who have been wishing you ‘Happy
Valentine’s Day’ by mouth; if they haven’t sent a gift, any gift, they
are lying.
If they cannot be swayed by retailers, big and small, who are trying
to ram down overpriced and unneeded gift items down their throats, then
they don’t like you at all.
Let me break it to you again if it hasn’t sunk in already. Nobody likes you; that’s why.
Oh, you thought everyone loves you? Sit down please
But it is not too late for you; too late for this year but not too
late for your life. You can still change it all and expect to receive
many Valentine gifts next year and in the future.
Change your attitude, treat people better and make better friends. Pretty easy, right?
Actually, that wouldn’t really work. You see, no one actually knows
what possesses people to like you enough to buy you Valentine gifts. I,
for one, hope to never know; hope to never love someone that deeply that
it would be more beneficial to donate my brain to surgery than to
partake in Valentine shenanigans.
If people can complain that Christmas and other public festivals are
now over commercialized, that the baseless festival that has become
Valentine’s Day has long gone past that point.
It has now become a fetish, to be brandished once a year as a totem of our undying and too readily purchased love.
All is not lost, though. We can still fight this impeding scourge.
Stand strong and resist the urge to dress in red and white and restrict
our gift-giving to just one day.
We are more than those that are against us, than those who are easily swayed by corporate interests and commercialism.
Even if no one likes us. Even if there are no Valentine gifts to keep us warm in the night.
Written by Tobi Amoo!