For the Newbies, the WAITING and LOVING IT series on the 1+theOne Blog, is all about couples that waited till their wedding night – how they
overcame the challenges etc.
These couple are featured to inspire you to believe that by God’s grace it is
possible to wait to have sex after marriage.
might help to read an introduction to the series/project, please click HERE, HERE and HERE.
It feels like Sewa is my sister, yet we were reminded last week that
we’d actually not met properly in person! I remember when we first
started Waiting and Loving It, Sewa was one of the first people I
contacted but I guess it wasn’t to be at the time and their story is
actually richer a few years down the line.
their beautiful and blessed world and I bet you will pick up one or two
things…. Presenting Sewa and Olaolu Olubiyi!
Hello guys! Thanks for being our ‘come-back’ feature on the
Waiting and Loving series. Please tell us a little bit about
Sewa – Hiya! My name is
Adesewa Olubiyi. I’m 27 years old, a Law graduate and I work in the city
of London within the financial services sector. I have been married to
my hubby for 4 years now to the glory of God and we are blessed with a
son. I am a chorister and worship leader in my church. I also run a
fashion styling, wardrobe management and wig making business. I enjoy
singing, shopping and meeting people. I also enjoy counselling people in
|Sewa Olubiyi ‘Fashionista’|
– Hi, I’m Olaolu Olubiyi. I’m a Solicitor, a go getter, a worshipper
and I love my Baby – Adesewa very much. My hobbies are reading and
travelling. I used to support Arsenal football team, but now I support
any team that plays well after experiencing several heartbreaks with
Ok so I attended my current church (RCCG) with my family in 2006 and
when we walked in as first timers, the ushers greeted us and led us to
our seats. My hubby was the head of the Singles’ department and also a
worship leader. The choir was ministering when we walked in and I
noticed a guy (my husband) with a black suit and white shirt and a red
tie on the stage. (You remember what he was wearing?!! Lol) He
was standing at the far end. He was looking very very handsome and was
the only guy on the stage among so many ladies in the choir. That was
when I noticed him and nothing more crossed my mind. I just thought to
myself, “The only guy in the choir… wow!”
She told me the day the choir would meet, and so I attended.
On the choir practice day, (which happened to be the same day as my
hubby’s birthday in the choir), I still didn’t know his name. I just
attended the choir practice for the first time and I was told it was
Laolu’s birthday and someone explained to me that Laolu was the guy in
the choir, so I knew it was him. I was told to sign a card that they got
for him which I did. (We still have that card at home and of course so
many cards after that). So they served refreshments and celebrated it
for him. However, we did not speak to each other even though I had
signed his card. The following Sunday, he came to introduce himself as
the head of the Singles’ department and asked for my number and said to
me that he does follow up of all the new singles / youth that join the
church. He then called me the very next day – a Monday and left a
voicemail as I was not available to pick up the phone. When I heard his
voice, my heart melted. I could not hear most of what he said but I kept
playing the message over and over and over again and blushing that this
very handsome guy had called me. I felt really important. I was getting
butterflies. So I returned his call and it went to voicemail too. I
also left a voicemail. Eventually we got talking but whenever we saw
each other at church or choir practice, we never spoke for some reason. I
used to find it difficult to look into his eyes then. I struggled to
look at him which is probably why we just never spoke. There was always
this fire that ignited or spark that came out of his eyes whenever we
looked at each other by mistake. So to avoid that spark, I just never
looked at his direction. I really couldn’t look at him for a long time
in the relationship. We would go home and start chatting via Yahoo
messenger about how choir practice went, etc. and what we thought of the
service or the message. As I was very young then, I was only partially
involved in the Singles activities and so he would call me to tell me
everything and how the programs I didn’t attend, went etc. I would rush
home from College just to be able to sign on to Yahoo messenger cause I
knew he was online from time to time because of his Law School studies
then, to send me chats and it was so cool chatting with him for hours
non-stop. All these while we were still ‘friends’. Then one day, he
started chatting to me on messenger saying ‘you make my heart melt’, ‘you make me shiver’ etc blah blah blah
and that was when he asked me out to be his girlfriend and the godly
courtship / relationship of 5 – 6 years started. We have now been
married for 4 years.
|Hopefully, you’re able to look into his eyes now 🙂|
Awww young love is so beautiful. Thanks for replaying it so vividly. So
Laolu, what’s your side of the story?
It was a summer evening on a Thursday – our usual choir practice day
which happened to be my birthday when my Baby walked into the church
hall. Unknown to me, she was joining the choir for the first time and no
one had told me about her or anything.
She was wearing a black
top and green bottoms and I was singing on the stage when she walked in.
She then went to pick up something by the side of the Ushers’
department table, and that was when I set my eyes on her as she walked
passed and I REALLY noticed her. There was an immediate skipping
beat in my heart even though she didn’t see me or notice me that
evening. Later that week after the Sunday service, I stylishly
approached her to collect her number under the guise of ‘following up’,
for the Singles’ department because I was the head of the Singles
department at the time. That was when the journey started. Several
calls, texts, and Yahoo messenger chats later, we became an inseparable
item! We courted for 5 – 6 years in the godly Christian way. The rest
they say is history. We have been married for 4 years and it feels just
|The rest they say is history….|
Succint and straight to the point lol. Thanks Laolu. So I know
you already mentioned her looks, down to what she was wearing but what
was the specific attractive quality you saw that got you sprung?
Ahhh! It was her sexy eyes and that innocent beauty she has. . I just
could not keep my heart beat under control. I also had to be careful not
to be too carried away.
Sewa: For me, it was his
love for God. His gentle and calm nature, also the fact that he was and
is still an ardent worshipper, The way he pours his heart out to God and
sweats when he leads praise and worship. He gives it his ultimate
energy. He’s a man after God’s heart. And to me that is very sexy. He’s
also got that sexy Jesus Boy Look and cute eyes.
Jesus Boy Look (SJBL), that’s a new one! 🙂 So apart from the obvious
attraction points, what were the other qualities that made you know that
this is the person you would like to spend the rest of your life with?
I realised that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him because
we had courted and had been friends for so long, and although there were
many guys from all walks of life (both celebrities and normal guys),
interested in me at the time, he was different. There was just something
so genuine about him, his attitude to the things of God, his selfless
love for me. He was my brother, my best friend, my gossip buddy, my
go-to person all rolled into one and I had grown to love him more
because he was just always there for me. I remember even during my
college days, he would study with me as I was reading Law and he was a
Law graduate so he really helped to mould and shape me, my orientation
about life, my studies and so on. He is just simply the best.
Awwww, that’s lovely!
Olaolu: I had been spending time in prayers before
then for God’s will to be done in my life. I did not know how or when
but in my walk with God he had and still always does things for me at
his own right time. There was a time we had a conversation and I had a
lot on my mind. I had been fasting and praying and at that stage I asked
God for a clear sign that if this, this and this happened, then I knew
she was the one. Almost immediately it happened, exactly how I had asked
God. I got my clear confirmation that she was the one and there was no
going back. I keep sinking into the ocean of love and joy with my wifey
every single day. I have not looked back since.
|No looking back… Just looking forward!|
to have a godly relationship. What made you make that decision to wait?
Sewa and Olaolu:
Waiting was an important part of our Christian journey. We wanted to
look forward to something special. There was no point trying what you
will still enjoy later and we looked forward to the goal. It wasn’t easy
but boundaries were set to ensure that the ultimate goal was achieved.
There was no point going into something that after the wedding it would
just be a case of ‘continuing’ from where we stopped. We felt it
wouldn’t feel special anymore. The thought of falling was also a very
scary one and neither of us wanted to bear the consequences. The fact
that we are also worship leaders would have made it very hypocritical
lifting up ‘holy hands’ in church when we knew we were not living holy.
So there was no way we would defile ourselves in that way.
On my own part, my parents had drummed it into me from a very young age
that the wedding bed must be undefiled and that I had to keep myself
and preserve myself for only my husband and no one else. My mum had told
me of consequences of spiritual soul ties and repercussions which I
definitely did not want to dabble with.
thank God for making it possible and giving you the grace to go through
with your decision. However, was it smooth-sailing or was there a time
you wanted to throw in the towel?
Sewa: Oh yes it was extremely hard especially because
we were so attracted to each other. There were tears. Lots of tears lol
especially in the cold nights of winter when we go out after a lovely
meal! The desire was very strong! But with God’s help we overcame the
strong desires and temptation! When one person was weak, the other was
strong for both of us. The words I remembered when I faced these
temptations were ‘of what gain is few minutes of pleasure for eternal regret and condemnation?’
The consequences were not worth it. I also believed keeping it was the
best gift I could ever give my husband and I had made up my mind that
there was no question about it.
Olaolu: It was
very hard, several times, but I just relied on God to see me through. I
also encouraged myself that I am having this forever so why rush into
What practical measures did you take to ensure that you stuck by your decision?
Sewa and Laolu:
We made up our minds that the foundation of our marriage had to be
firm, right and rooted in God. The practical measures we took were that
we ensured that our Pastors were very much involved in our relationship
from the start and were able to guide and counsel us during difficult
moments. They were always only a call away. We also had great
Counsellors/mentors along the way who were married and were great
sources of inspiration. We always tried to focus our discussions on
things that were edifying and not sex-related. We just had the mind that
keeping things uncomplicated was the best way to go. We ensured that we
were not alone in private places so as to avoid any unnecessary invite
Thank you guys so much! We are almost
there now, tell us what one advice would you give to your single self in
preparation for marriage now that you’ve crossed that line?
Although I married at the age of 23, I would have probably spent more
time volunteering in more ministerial projects such as youth
empowerment. Also I would not have courted for 6 years, and would have
probably married earlier.
Olaolu: The waiting would be all worth it in the end and I probably should have made more business investments… lol
Describe in 3 words / sentences the best part of being married!
Companionship, Responsibility and being a home maker. Marriage is
enjoyable with the right person in it. You feel complete. You feel
whole. You feel fulfilled. Your whole world starts to make sense. You
get that sense of TOGETHERNESS in everything you do. Always having a
shoulder to lean on or a listening ear is awesome! And having someone
who can share your pain, your thoughts, your highs and lows is a great
Olaolu: Sex, Children, Companionship
and Friendship. Having my second half always there is a good feeling.
Having my ‘go-to’ person is a gooood feeling. The saying two heads are
better than one is a true wise saying.
|Two heads definitely better than one!|
Awesome! Finally, just before we let you go, it’s PDA time! We
usually like to give couples that opportunity to publicly affirm each
Sewa: Baby, you are the best
man on earth! I love you with all my heart. You complement me and
complete me. You make my world go round. You give me constant joy. I
don’t know how my life would have been without you in it. You are the
best thing that ever happened to me. I thank God that he made our paths
Olaolu: Blessed is the day I set my
eyes on you Adesewa. If I had another opportunity in my lifetime to
share my life with you again, I would grab it with both hands! I won’t
trade you for anything in this world. Glad I stayed and waited till the
end. I love you Baby mi, Aya Mi, Iyawo mi. You made my heart
melt then and you still make my heart melt now. EVERY SINGLE DAY. I love
you so much and I CAN’T SAY THAT ENOUGH! You are special to me in every
sense of the word. Your passion for fashion is infectious…lol. I love
you baby with all your sweet imperfections.
|Sewa the Fashionista! Follow her @adesewastylesignature on Instagram|
|@adesewastylesignature on Instagram|
wardrobe management and wigs, please follow Sewa @adesewastylesignature
many things so I won’t repeat them, however I’ll like to pick on a
little point that Laolu mentioned with regards to getting that
confirmation and assurance that Sewa was his wife.
know I’m making the right decision? In addition to the other points
raised (attraction, character, compatibility, friendship), it is
important to present before God and even ask Him for specific signs. I
have heard so many testimonies of people who did this, and God answering
very specifically (You don’t have to be a Pastor or Prophet to do
this!). Just ask sincerely and wait on God to answer. He will!
relationship fully committed to God, with the grace to hold on until
marriage for sex. It might not be easy but it is possible and very worth
it! May God give us all grace in Jesus name.
Click HERE for other Waiting and Loving It Couples… And please don’t forget to share too!