known as ‘Nwanyi Afikpo’ has written a lengthy piece to popular blogger
Linda Ikeji over the recent statements she made about marriage and the
kind of man she would love to marry.
The lawmaker who considers Linda’s statement an affront on humanity, said Linda should know that no condition is permanent.
“Linda, you cannot have it both ways…..
I personally did a lot of damage control for Linda Ikeji when it was
alleged she said; she can buy any man with her money. I sincerely did
not believe she can utter such; as I could not imagine any reasonable
human being saying such. I defended her with all my might. I Paid
Facebook and Google to boost and promote the article I took my time to
create, image-making style, in order to squash that allegation.
Remember, I do not know her in any shape. Never met her. Never spoken
with her. I know her the same way millions do, via the fact that she is
famous blogger. I Just did it from my heart; for I see her as a role
model to women and youths. And I did not want such dent on her image.
Recently, power-blogger, Linda Ikeji, told an interviewer that she can
never marry a poor man. Hear her: “No, I can’t marry a poor guy and I’m
being honest about it. He doesn’t have to be rich but let him be
successful in his own way. When I was 30, my standards were extremely
high. Now, I have only three criteria. He must be successful. He must be
a good man in the sense that he has to be very supportive of what I do.
If he tries to stifle me, I’m out. The third one, is the one that likes
to eat groceries well (laughs).”n
On her latest statement, I do not agree with her at all. Firstly; a rich
man is nothing but a poor man with money. And; no condition in life is
The scariest thing for a man to hear is not even the
one of her saying she can’t marry a poor man, it is the one she says
that she would be out if a man tries to stifle her. Then she better just
create the man from scratch. Because there is no man, especially
African man, that will not attempt to stifle his wife every now and
That innocuous utterance has already sent strong signals to those
successful men she is seeking that they better go and marry someone that
will not attempt to wear the trouser at home with them; and not her. It
also indicates to those successful men she wants that she will never be
submissive in anyway to them; that she no send and is ready for a
divorce at any given time. She is basically preempting divorce even
The major reason men, especially African men are working hard to be
successful is so they can get that woman they want, that will give them a
peaceful home, and the leeway to be the oga of the house. Why would a
man go through it all to make it only to marry a woman who is going to
become the man of the house with him.
Important: A man is a man, poor or rich. No man with his head in intact,
will be okay for a woman to control him. Even if the woman is richer
than money itself. It will not happen. Even the poorest man on earth
would rather be eating his Indomie in peace than to be controlled by any
woman. This applies even in the civilized world. This not about pride,
this is human nature.
On money: Being rich, poor or broke is not a permanent state of being.
Moreover; money is not the be all and end all of life. Some people are
very rich today not just by hard work but by force of universe which can
also be interpreted as grace. Let us not dismiss people based on their
current condition. Moreover, he only thing constant in life is change.
Hear Linda, “I keep telling people. It’s not that men are scarce. They
are not scarce. The type of men that some of us are looking for are
scarce. If I want to get married next week, I can. I want a man that I
can look up to. Somebody that inspires me, somebody that will push me,
motivate me; somebody who has had some success in his own career. I’m
inspired by successful people. I can’t wait to meet someone like Tyler
Now let us talk about the definition of success. According to her, she
wants to marry a successful man, but the man does not have to be rich.
This is a huge oxymoron (an epigrammatic effect, by which contradictory
terms are used in conjunction). Success is defined as;
the accomplishment of an aim or purpose. And it does not take a genius
to understand that by successful, she means a wealthy man. A man of
means. Going by the example she gives as her kind of man, Tyler Perry,
she has dropped all the hint any one needs to know concerning her idea
of a successful man. Perry is an ultra-rich American actor, comedian,
producer, director, screenwriter, playwright, author, and songwriter.
The problem i see with Linda is that she is often too open about her
feelings. I will advise that in her search for a man that she should
keep some of her criterias private. This is not America, this is not
oyibo land where women can say and do anything with minimal or no
consequence. Emotional intelligence is knowing your environment and
adapting to it; especially when it comes to utterances, actions etc. It
is not everything the heart conceives that must be uttered publicly.
Dear Linda, you can’t have it both ways. You can’t eat your cake and
have it too. Being a very successful woman in Nigeria, you must be
willing to compromise when it comes to relationships with the opposite
sex. You might not be a girl, due to your high level, a man can tell
what to do or what not to do, but you must not say such out loud, you
must give vibes that you can be told what to do by your man, you must do
your best to show them the utmost respect, the most respect you can
muster to give them. You are going to have to eat humble pies for your
man many a times. And it is okay my darling, it will take nothing away
from you. Let the man to feel he is in control. You must try and do
that. It is not an option, it is necessary.
By your success alone, you have made many men feel a bit less manly, and
so to even rub it in by reading them riot acts to them, is an overkill.
Humility is a natural gift, those who are humble by nature will remain
humble even if they become the richest on earth. But humility can be
learned too, in dealing with the opposite sex you will need a mighty
doze of humility, nnem, learn it if by force biko. Always remember that a
man is a man is man is a man. Respect matter to a man; no matter his
status and class.
Linda, in the end you will have the last laugh, when you are running
around with your cute kids doing one or two things and your hubby by
your side. When you are compromising and eating them humble pies, think
of your family (your own kid/s and man) and it will all be worth it.
virtue of you being a very successful woman, African woman for that
matter, no matter who you marry, it is not going to be easy. But if you
do your math properly, do some adjustments and amendments, you won’t
have any regrets. Life as we know it is not a bed of roses for anyone,
if you have this, you might not have that, so it’s all about compromise
You are a very public figure. Your public utterances must be guided. By
virtue of your rag to riches success story; you have become an
involuntary role model to many; including me. You are intelligent but
you need to take a class on emotional intelligence. Be very mindful of
your public statements please. I wish you more success in life. Thank
Maria Ude Nwachi (Afikpo Chic).
#BCEL – Best Chic Ever Liveth (Nwanyi Afikpo).”