A former Deputy Governor of Lagos State, Femi Pedro and his wife, Justice Jumoke, talk about their marriage with MOTUNRAYO JOEL.
You have been married for 33 years. What is the secret of your union?
Femi: We give God the
glory but more importantly, the secret lies with the type of personality
and character my wife possesses. She is extremely patient, very
resilient and bestowed with tremendous wisdom, even at a young age. She
was only 25 years old when we got married but she had the wisdom and
maturity of a 40 year-old. Because of her, it was easier to navigate
through the challenging early years of marriage. We got married on
February 5, 1983. That’s almost 34 years ago.
glory but more importantly, the secret lies with the type of personality
and character my wife possesses. She is extremely patient, very
resilient and bestowed with tremendous wisdom, even at a young age. She
was only 25 years old when we got married but she had the wisdom and
maturity of a 40 year-old. Because of her, it was easier to navigate
through the challenging early years of marriage. We got married on
February 5, 1983. That’s almost 34 years ago.
How did you meet your wife?
Femi: She came to visit
her friend whose house was opposite our family house. I had just
completed my A-level at the time and waiting for admission into the
university. She was preparing for her A-level. I was 19 and she was 16.
That was in 1974; 42 years ago.
her friend whose house was opposite our family house. I had just
completed my A-level at the time and waiting for admission into the
university. She was preparing for her A-level. I was 19 and she was 16.
That was in 1974; 42 years ago.
Would you describe your relationship as love at first sight?
Jumoke: Yes, certainly.
I spotted my husband for the first time when I visited a friend of
mine. I saw this tall, dark and handsome guy in a bright red shirt and I
fell instantly in love with him. I was enthralled when he approached me
and introduced himself. I had butterflies in my stomach.
I spotted my husband for the first time when I visited a friend of
mine. I saw this tall, dark and handsome guy in a bright red shirt and I
fell instantly in love with him. I was enthralled when he approached me
and introduced himself. I had butterflies in my stomach.
What made you fall in love with each other?
Femi: I just loved her
humility, elegance, and intelligence. She is dark, beautiful, tall,
elegant and sexy but shy. I fell for her almost immediately.
humility, elegance, and intelligence. She is dark, beautiful, tall,
elegant and sexy but shy. I fell for her almost immediately.
Jumoke: I fell in love with his good looks, gentlemanliness and character.
Do you still the qualities that initially attracted you in her?
Femi: Yes, she still possesses most of them and more.
How did the relationship progress into marriage?
Femi: We got married
when both of us had a young but promising career. I was 28 years old
just starting a career in banking, while she was a 25-year-old fresh
lawyer. Both of us were very ambitious but she was able to manage her
career such that our marriage was strengthened. We had our first child
that same year.
when both of us had a young but promising career. I was 28 years old
just starting a career in banking, while she was a 25-year-old fresh
lawyer. Both of us were very ambitious but she was able to manage her
career such that our marriage was strengthened. We had our first child
that same year.
Did you accept his proposal immediately?
Jumoke: Yes I did. Immediately he proposed I said ‘yes, yes, yes.’ I was so excited.
When did you realise you wanted to spend the rest of your life with him?
Jumoke: The day I met
him. I had no doubt that he was the man of my dreams, but I did not tell
him then. I just knew in my heart that this he was the man I would
rather spend the rest of my life with.
him. I had no doubt that he was the man of my dreams, but I did not tell
him then. I just knew in my heart that this he was the man I would
rather spend the rest of my life with.
How do you feel about your spouse now compared with when you first met?
Jumoke: In some ways,
he is still the same great guy I married. However, in other ways, he has
changed. In a society where some women only go after men of means and
power, it is not unexpected that women will try to flock around him but
he has handled this very well and I am proud of him. One thing is that
he cares about his family and tries to shield us from external forces.
God has been good to us. I am truly blessed to have him as my husband.
he is still the same great guy I married. However, in other ways, he has
changed. In a society where some women only go after men of means and
power, it is not unexpected that women will try to flock around him but
he has handled this very well and I am proud of him. One thing is that
he cares about his family and tries to shield us from external forces.
God has been good to us. I am truly blessed to have him as my husband.
Did her family welcome you with open arms the first time you met them?
Femi: Yes, she had a great dad and a very loving mum. Both accepted me with open arms and never discouraged us from getting married.
What is the most memorable moment of your union?
Jumoke: It was when we had our first child. That way was the most memorable, joyous and wonderful.
What do you think has strengthened your marriage till date?
Femi: I have a lovely
wife who is very caring, patient and understanding. She takes good care
of me and handles all my private affairs. She is very tolerant and
respectful. We love each other and protect one another. I consider
myself blessed.
wife who is very caring, patient and understanding. She takes good care
of me and handles all my private affairs. She is very tolerant and
respectful. We love each other and protect one another. I consider
myself blessed.
Loving each other unconditionally and
communicating very well with each other are our strengths. My wife is
my best friend and confidant. We share the same faith and try to be
close to our God. We pray together as a couple. We try to manage our
conflicts without allowing third party interference. No matter how busy
we are, we make it a priority to spend time with each other. God has
brought us through life changing experiences. Our trials and triumphs
have drawn us closer to each other.
communicating very well with each other are our strengths. My wife is
my best friend and confidant. We share the same faith and try to be
close to our God. We pray together as a couple. We try to manage our
conflicts without allowing third party interference. No matter how busy
we are, we make it a priority to spend time with each other. God has
brought us through life changing experiences. Our trials and triumphs
have drawn us closer to each other.
Jumoke: I am truly
blessed to have an understanding, affectionate and devoted husband who
is also a wonderful father to our four children. He loves his family
unconditionally and creates time for us.
blessed to have an understanding, affectionate and devoted husband who
is also a wonderful father to our four children. He loves his family
unconditionally and creates time for us.
What are some of the favourite things you do together?
Jumoke: Traveling, listening to music, dinning, and watching movies.
How do you handle the attention that comes with being married to a personality like Femi Pedro?
Jumoke: It is a
privilege and an honour to be married to such a man and I am grateful to
God for giving us that opportunity. I was once a magistrate, a Chief
Registrar of a High Court before being appointed as a High Court Judge. I
saw his elevation as a call to serve the people. By the grace of God, I
have handled the attention that comes with it very well by being
level-headed and supportive.
privilege and an honour to be married to such a man and I am grateful to
God for giving us that opportunity. I was once a magistrate, a Chief
Registrar of a High Court before being appointed as a High Court Judge. I
saw his elevation as a call to serve the people. By the grace of God, I
have handled the attention that comes with it very well by being
level-headed and supportive.
How do you keep your romance alive?
Jumoke: I always look
good and do those things that attracted him to me in the first instance.
We have our dates when we go out for dinner. We also go to the cinema.
Being intimate, caring and affectionate to each other also keeps our
marriage alive. We try to renew our marriage vows from time to time and
remain committed to each other.
good and do those things that attracted him to me in the first instance.
We have our dates when we go out for dinner. We also go to the cinema.
Being intimate, caring and affectionate to each other also keeps our
marriage alive. We try to renew our marriage vows from time to time and
remain committed to each other.
What is the most valuable gift you bought your wife?
Femi: I bought her a BMW SUV once; she loved it.
Who is the first to apologise after a quarrel?
Femi: I am, always in fact.
Jumoke: No one is perfect, whenever I am wrong, I apologise first.
How do you handle disagreements?
Femi: When I am wrong I
apologise and when she is wrong I apologise. I learnt this long time
ago that the best way to foster a lasting peace in a marriage is to
avoid unhealthy arguments, anger and malice. Just say ‘sorry darling’
and move on even if you think your spouse has wronged you.
apologise and when she is wrong I apologise. I learnt this long time
ago that the best way to foster a lasting peace in a marriage is to
avoid unhealthy arguments, anger and malice. Just say ‘sorry darling’
and move on even if you think your spouse has wronged you.
Jumoke: Conflict in
marriage is bound to arise. The most important thing is being able to
resolve the conflict. Whenever there is disagreement, we do not allow
it linger but we find a way to discuss our differences as mature adults
and arrive at a compromise. Sometimes, we settle immediately and other
times, it takes longer but the key thing is the ability to communicate
with each other and resolve the issue.
marriage is bound to arise. The most important thing is being able to
resolve the conflict. Whenever there is disagreement, we do not allow
it linger but we find a way to discuss our differences as mature adults
and arrive at a compromise. Sometimes, we settle immediately and other
times, it takes longer but the key thing is the ability to communicate
with each other and resolve the issue.
Do you have joint accounts?
Femi: No, mainly
because it is really not necessary. We hardly have disagreements on
financial matters, maybe because both of us have been working for a long
time. My wife takes good care of herself and does not bother me.
because it is really not necessary. We hardly have disagreements on
financial matters, maybe because both of us have been working for a long
time. My wife takes good care of herself and does not bother me.
How financially ready were you before marriage?
Femi: We were both
working before we got married. We jointly pooled our resources together
to rent our first apartment, finance part of our wedding expenses and
furnish our apartment. I took a car loan from my employer to buy our
first car which we used jointly even before we got married.
working before we got married. We jointly pooled our resources together
to rent our first apartment, finance part of our wedding expenses and
furnish our apartment. I took a car loan from my employer to buy our
first car which we used jointly even before we got married.
How do you share household chores?
Jumoke: I have always
been a homely person and I love to cook, decorate the home and keep a
clean, neat environment. When my kids were young, I always ensured they
were well taken care of and that they did their school works. They are
all grown-up men now and have turned out to be well-behaved. I am very
proud of them. My husband loves to cook but as a matter of principle, I
do not allow him to cook. One time, when I was ill, my husband made
breakfast for me which I loved. But generally, he handles only
technical, financial matters and helps keep things working well in the
house. He provides for the family and ensures that there is peace at
home.
been a homely person and I love to cook, decorate the home and keep a
clean, neat environment. When my kids were young, I always ensured they
were well taken care of and that they did their school works. They are
all grown-up men now and have turned out to be well-behaved. I am very
proud of them. My husband loves to cook but as a matter of principle, I
do not allow him to cook. One time, when I was ill, my husband made
breakfast for me which I loved. But generally, he handles only
technical, financial matters and helps keep things working well in the
house. He provides for the family and ensures that there is peace at
home.
Who is the better cook?
Femi: She is. She taught me how to cook but she never allowed me to cook.
Jumoke: I am a good
cook; I love to cook delicious dishes for my family despite my tight
work schedule. I do not allow our cook handle his meals whenever I am
around.
cook; I love to cook delicious dishes for my family despite my tight
work schedule. I do not allow our cook handle his meals whenever I am
around.
Are there couples you look up to?
Femi: Yes, my former
boss, Otunba Michael Olasubomi Balogun and Olori Abimbola Balogun. They
are a model couple. They have been married for over 40 years and are
always together publicly, elegantly dressed in matching attire.
boss, Otunba Michael Olasubomi Balogun and Olori Abimbola Balogun. They
are a model couple. They have been married for over 40 years and are
always together publicly, elegantly dressed in matching attire.
I also admire my Pastor, Wale Adefarasin
and his wife, Pastor Laolu Adefarasin. They are also a model couple,
always together in and out of church.
and his wife, Pastor Laolu Adefarasin. They are also a model couple,
always together in and out of church.
Is love the only ingredient needed for a successful marriage?
Jumoke: Love is just
one of the ingredients. I believe having God as the centrepiece of our
lives is the most important ingredient for a successful marriage. It is
only from him that one gets the wisdom and grace to handle challenges
in marriage.
one of the ingredients. I believe having God as the centrepiece of our
lives is the most important ingredient for a successful marriage. It is
only from him that one gets the wisdom and grace to handle challenges
in marriage.