Bar Association, Ikeja branch, Mr. Monday Ubani, discusses what
fatherhood has taught him with MOTUNRAYO JOEL.
loving father to my children and wife. To ensure that I lead them on
some basic virtues of life such as hard work, knowledge of God, fear and
respect for God and elders. I strive to demolish selfishness in the
lives of my children. I also make sure that whatever they do in life,
they exhibit a sense of altruism; that is, they consider others first in
all they do. I want to make sure that they have integrity and honesty
as their virtues. I strive to build a family with strong moral values. I
also strive to meet up with my fatherly duties and ensure that my
children remain united.
first son was born even though I was not prepared for some of the
things I witnessed at that time. We had to wake up at night whenever he
cried, other times we could not sleep until he slept. While he was
growing up, one day I entered my bedroom and met some money I put there
scattered all over the room. It was a total mess. I got upset with what
he did and spanked him. Surprisingly, after that incident, he grew into
an adult overnight. I cannot recall his age but I know he was still
crawling at the time. I was surprised at his change of attitude. He
never misbehaved after that day. I am not sure if he would recollect
that incident. I cannot forget it, may be because it surprised me.
patience. As parents, we need to be patient with our children as they
grow up. At the same time, we should not spare the rod. Whenever the
need arises to correct them, we should do so. By the grace of God, all
my children are well-behaved. They exhibit a high level of maturity. We
should not allow our children behave in the way they choose.
returned from work. I would sing songs to put them to sleep. I realised
that singing calmed them down. I specialised in making them fall
she cooks all sorts of meals. I cannot compete with her when it comes
to cooking native soups. She cooks all sorts of native soups. My only
specialisation is stew. I am still of the opinion that I cook the best
because of our tight schedules, we do not enjoy that anymore. I love
going out to eat once in a while. Apart from that, I love buying her
clothes whenever I travel. I make the best choice for her in terms of
colour and quality. There is a particular shop I go to in the United
Kingdom to buy things for her. She loves my choice of clothes.
of her cars customised in her name – it was a Pathfinder. We are
planning to sell the car so I can buy her a new one. She loves big cars.
I’m trusting to God to bless me so I can buy her a big car.
cars since she came into my life. She is presently using a Camry Toyota
2009 model but I know she loves big cars.
certain traits one needs to let go. I had become more patient; I used to
be hot-tempered. As a father, one’s children and wife look up to one.
Sometimes, one allows things pass by and not complain. When I was
younger, I used to complain of certain things but now (being a father),
it is not everything I see that I complain about. Fatherhood has calmed
me down. I do not get angry easily anymore. I now weigh things before I
act. There are things I cannot do anymore as a father. I also allow the
spirit of God to guide me in all that I do.
intention of giving them the best, is not an easy task. We have to enrol
them in private schools, teach them the way of God, ensure that they
listen to instructions among other things. I want to celebrate my wife
who goes the extra mile in caring for my children when I am not around.
She is an excellent mother and wife.
If I’m given another opportunity, I would love to spend more time with
my children. I have two of them who are already in the university. By
the time you know it, they are out of school and marriage is the next
thing. The only time I enjoy them now is when they are on holidays. I go
out with them more when they are on holidays.
education, every child is a blessing. Now, we are all aware that girls
take care of their parents more, but I love all my children equally. I
get along with all of them. I cherish them all. There is no Saturday
that I do not go out with my last child. Every night, whenever I get
back from school, we talk about how his day went.
the father has the capacity and time. There is absolutely nothing wrong
in assisting one’s wife with house chores especially if one’s wife works
and has a busy schedule. If the man has the time and capacity, he
should help with domestic chores. In my case, I have people that assist
me in that area. If I have the time, there is nothing wrong in doing it.
you ask me if I give my children gifts, I would say yes. If I am able
to buy what they need, I get it for them. My son, for example, is a good
dresser; he won an award for best dresser in his faculty – Law. He
loves shirts and ties; whenever I travel, I buy them for him.
father is a lawyer, he also wants to be a lawyer. My second son also
wants to be a lawyer. In fact, my daughter says she wants to be a lawyer
too. It is only my third son who is an engineering student.
naturally and there is another one reads about. I think I am one that
likes to lead. I do not like to be in an environment where things are
not going right. I discovered this about me at a young age. I love to
lead people. I was once a boy scout. In the university, I was the leader
of a Christian group. I was also the chairman of one of biggest and
most respected branches of the Nigerian Bar Association – Ikeja branch. I
am currently the second Vice President of the NBA. I have assumed many
leadership roles. I believe I lead very well by the grace of God.
still alive though; he lives with me. He did not read up to the level I
did, but he ensured I did. In fact, he wanted me to be a mechanic. I
guess I would have been a mechanic with a difference – the most renewed