Olasumbo Ayodele, has been married to her husband, John Oladipo, an
engineer for almost 34 years. The couple share their love story with Bukola Bakare.
came to do a project behind our house in Abeokuta, Ogun State. He was
working with the National Electric Power Authority in those days and I
recall that he was building the power station behind our house. I used
to just stand in front of the house to do my laundry and other chores.
On one of those days that he passed by, he came to my house and made
passes at me. I told him he would have to meet my father who would make
enquiries about him. That was how it was done back then. So, my father
went to his home town.
fascinated by the fact that he was an engineer. Also, my father had said
he wanted his three daughters to marry an engineer, a lawyer or a
doctor. More so, I had always dreamt of marrying someone that is not
from my home state, Ogun, because I always admired people from other
parts of Nigeria. He is from Yagba West Local Government Area of Kogi
State. He used to behave like a Hausa man and I would jokingly call him a
he could not come directly to propose to me so he had to go through my
father. He told him he wanted to marry me and it was after my father
gave his consent that he used some sort of mathematics to propose to me.
He cited an equation that x and y would always meet at an infinite
point. I did not understand what he meant. I innocently said there was
no way they would meet.
very nice, but there is no marriage that is a bed of roses. The
institution has its ups and downs but to the glory of God our journey
has been fruitful. We still live together as if we are still courting,
we are lovers, brother and sister, father and mother in that order. We
are each other’s best friend. With God, we have been able to surmount
the challenges that have come our way because we pray together.
apologise first because I believe that my husband is my crown and he is
the head of the family. In the first place, he is older than me and
also, he is my husband. The Bible says, “Wives, submit to your
husbands,’’ so I apologise first. My husband is a very nice person; he
looks after me and the family. He fulfils his own side of the bargain.
ourselves ‘D,’ meaning Darling, but along the line, I started calling
him ‘my lord’ because if you go back to the Bible, Sarah used to call
Abraham her lord. Sometimes, he calls me my praise name in my local Egba
prospective couples should study each other well before they go into
marriage, especially during courtship. If there are character traits
that one of the partners does not like, it is advisable to speak up
rather than wallow in silence. The partner should not assume that the
person may change when they get married. Couples must be able to
understand and trust each other. They must love, tolerate and respect
one another. They should avoid pettiness and not allow external
influences. Above all, they must try to stay together no matter what
comes their way.
usually from the outset. If one does not have a clear cut vision of the
kind of person one wants to marry and one eventually gets married just
because it is fashionable, then there would be problems in one’s
marriage. Like I said earlier, I made up my mind that I was not going to
marry a Yoruba man and he had to be an engineer, a lawyer or doctor. He
must also be God-fearing. One should set some criteria for oneself
before going into any marriage.
for the sake of it and it is quite sad. One must involve God and one’s
parents from the very beginning and everything will work out for good.
If one does not get one’s priorities right, the marriage will not work.
concerned, being in the kitchen does not mean that a woman must remain
there. Of course, I am educated and empowered, but I still cook for my
husband and do other things. If I had been relegated to the kitchen,
there would not have been Quincy Herbals today. As a woman, I thank God
for how far he has used me to impact on the Nigerian society. A woman
must always be in the kitchen, but at the same time, she must be
empowered. The German Chancellor, Angela Merkel, is a woman, but is she
solely in the kitchen? Same goes for the British Prime Minister, Theresa
May. Both of them are married but they are not relegated to the
kitchen. Hillary Clinton is vying for the highest office in the United
States, so my place is not solely in the kitchen because my husband
supports me all the way.
me to the US for the first time and it was my first time boarding a
plane. He does many things for me even up till now. Those things remain
life is to serve God first, then serve my fellow human beings. They
deserve respect, attention and understanding. They also deserve
apologies whenever I offend them. That is how I see life.
journey and whatever is worth doing at all, is what doing well. That is
what my father taught me. I always ensure that the love between my
husband and I is sustained. Marriage is one of such journeys and I thank
God that I am enjoying it.
wonderful feeling because it was an accomplishment of a goal. For us to
witness it elicited great joy as we looked forward to our grandchildren
and the marriages of her siblings. We thank God that it happened in our
lifetime. For me, I was the happiest mother on earth on that day.
a lot of gifts for me and if he needs something, I get it for him too
because he is used to buying everything for me. As far as my husband is
concerned, it is all about me and the children first.
each other well and there has been no friction because my husband
supports me in my business and I support him in his line of work too. I
understand that he has to travel sometimes and he understands that I
have to do same too for my business. Our own definition of success is
the ability to succeed in everything that we have started, without
failing in any. He ensures that he does not fail at work and he
encourages me to be a successful as well. We complement each other as a
our children who are not married to do so in our lifetime. I also want
my grandchildren to grow and get married in our lifetime and give us
great grandchildren. They must stick together and not divorce under
whatever circumstances. That would give us great joy.