in the university (Delta State University). It was a brief meeting
because she later changed university and relocated to Lagos. That was
around 2004/2005. We didn’t meet again until in 2013, in church. It
happened that both of us attended the same church. After that meeting,
we kept communicating with each other and the friendship was rekindled. I
later invited her to a couple of my comedy shows. Around October, 2013,
we started dating officially. And we got married in January last year
spoken to him once or twice before. So, when I saw him again, I thought
the face looked familiar. He invited me to a couple of his events but I
couldn’t go because of work. Before then, he was at an event my younger
siblings attended, and he referred to me as someone that was ‘posting’
him. I ignored that. But eventually we got to see again.
very detailed person. She expresses herself on the spot, and she is
natural. A lot of ladies these days pretend and don’t show their real
selves and are materialistic. But she is not. I met her when I was
practically nobody in the comedy industry. She loved me for who I am.
could do many things that every other guy could do, despite being
physically challenged and he showed a lot of good qualities. I had not
dated any guy like him before, but he was unique. Also, I didn’t see
that inferiority complex one sees in guys with a physical challenge like
her, I was in a relationship that was almost heading to the altar, but
it didn’t work out. I wasn’t thinking marriage at the time, especially
as one was still trying to make a name for oneself. But when she came
into my life, she put me on a reality check.
time that his physical challenge bothered me when we had just started
dating. But I later saw beyond that and realised that he had great
qualities I desired in a man. Also, I felt at peace with him. Now, I am
not bothered about it, it is part of him. I love him the way he is.
twice. The first time, she felt it was a joke, because it was a tiny,
worthless ring. There was no single gold, diamond or anything ‘plated’
on it. My friends were there and told her I’d planned to propose. I
didn’t have the money to buy her an expensive ring. The second time, I
got her the ring I had wanted to buy and I made a better proposal. This
time, it was more dramatic than the first time.
but he said it wasn’t the ring he had planned to give me. The ring was
so tight, but I was excited nonetheless. I wore it for some time. When
he made the second proposal, he did it with a much more expensive and
fitting ring and it was a surprise.
fun and adventurous. No marriage is perfect; every marriage, like ours,
has its peculiar challenges. But the good thing is that for every
challenge, we’ve learnt to face and overcome it together. We don’t look
at other people’s marriage to define how we would work out ours. From
the onset, there was no pretence between us; it was real from the
beginning. So, we understood ourselves and our flaws from the start and
decided if we were going to proceed with the relationship or not.
has been interesting, exciting and adventurous. I am a drama queen, but
he is calm and also funny. There is no dull moment when we are together.
It has been fun.
reservations initially. But from a young age, I had learnt to control
myself and ignore what people felt or said about my physical challenge.
So, I wasn’t worried, although she was at the time. I told her her
father was right to ask questions why his daughter wanted to marry
someone that was physically challenged. I told myself I was going to
walk my way into his life and leave him with no choice. I kept going to
their house for visits. Somehow, we later clicked. I was happy when he
finally accepted. My wife had a big role to play in that. Now, we have a
wonderful relationship. My in-laws and family are the best one could
have wished for.
married, one of our major challenges was my dad’s initial refusal to
give his consent. My dad wondered why I wanted to marry him, despite his
physical challenge. But my husband was calm about it and was confident
that my dad would accept him eventually. My dad is also a fun person and
was usually receptive whenever we had visitors in our home. But when I
first brought him home, he wasn’t happy. He asked in my language how my
husband came to our place, because he didn’t have a car then. I now
replied him in Pidgin English that, “He fly come.” I told him that if it
was because of his legs he didn’t want me to marry him, then I would
also not marry him if his legs eventually became straight and he stopped
using crutches. My dad was shocked. After giving him the cold shoulder
for a couple of months, he finally accepted him.
taught me how to relate better with people. He is friends with almost
everybody. Whenever we went out, I always saw this people-friendly
nature of him. So, I had to teach myself over time. Some people started
calling me Mamah Kay before we got married and it has stuck ever since.
it when she withdraws into her shell. My wife, like most women, has
mood swings sometimes, and it was hectic for me to deal with it
initially, especially when she just switches into one of those moods for
no particular reason. Then, I would wonder if I had offended her or if
it was something else.
it when one is talking to him and he just wants to be by himself and
does not respond. I am guilty of that at times, but I don’t like it when
he does the same. He could also disturb one a lot especially when one
would rather be alone.
everything, including domestic chores, and he also cooks meals for me
once in a while. He knows how to cook spaghetti and stew.
is basically the lack of understanding, patience and endurance. Ali Baba
is my role model in the comedy industry, and I have learnt a lot from
him, including about marriage. He respects his wife, they have a close
friendship and also relate like siblings.