It is the wife’s role to ensure peace in her home; kill your ‘ego’ once you are married, for your sanity…
This is a true life story of a woman who is lamenting her ordeal after
getting divorced by her husband due to her ego and bad advice from
people around her.
I am 32 years old. Me and my ex hubby dated for six years, I started
dating him whilst I was in grade 12, I was 19 years old. We were best of
friends, I waited until he completed college and started work, my
family and his family then met, we got married and had a son (7 years
old now).
My husband was short tempered at times, but our problems started when I
wanted to make him feel he can’t control me. Every time we argue, I
would pack my bags, go to my family and explain.
One day I pushed him so had that for the first time he beat me and lock
me out side, I went to my family, my family took him to police, every
time I pretend like I am being abused! But to be honest, I used to abuse
my husband emotionally.
He was arrested and detained. I was asked by his family to withdraw the case, I felt that what I was doing is wrong. My
husband was never a violent man, he did what he did because I pushed
him too much too hard. I withdrew the charge, and we reconciled.
After three months, I packed my bags after a small issue, and he remained alone. After
two days I received a call that he is in hospital, [but] my family told
me that I shouldn’t go there because it will look like am begging him, and my sisters claimed he is faking the illness even without seeing him.
All this time, people felt sorry for me like I was the one being abused.
He spent a week in hospital, after he came out, I just received a
divorce summon. I wanted to say no to divorce, but because I felt
this pride, I wanted him to change his mind and beg me, I called him and
say he will get the divorce, I pretend like am in hell in his house.
When we went to court, I wanted to make him pay, so I told the court that I needed his properties to be shared. To
my surprise he openly told the court that whatever he and me acquired
together should be given to me, all he wanted was divorce.
We got divorced in 2009 July. Now, this Saturday my husband is getting
married again, whilst I am here “wasted”! My family are gossiping about
me, I depend on what my ex gives to my son for survival. I know I wasted
my marriage. I am here telling all wives to be careful how you get
advise. Don’t be deceived by those close to you. Even my young sisters
are much more respected than me. Those who encouraged me to divorce my
husband are always bad mouthing me now.
There is no benefit in Pride and Ego for a woman in marriage. I learnt my lessons a bit late!