Last year, we featured a certain lady, Lizzy Oke (HERE) to inspire kfbers.
her challenge, she dutifully played her role as one of the bridesmaids
at a wedding last year and we have been keeping up with her beautiful
soul ever since.
Lizzy had a car accident on her way to school in 2008, but got back to
school less than a year later. She has been in a wheelchair since then
but she hasn’t let that stop her in any way.
She is popularly known as the “Do it yourself” lady and has a blog (www.thediylady.com) where she shares her inspiring ‘wheelchair’ experience stories.
She will be getting married to the love of her life in a few weeks and has released her pre-wedding photos and love story….enjoy!
from the Bride, Lizzy
Man where I do I begin in writing our story though? If you know me, you
know that writing and talking are some of my strong points – but when it
comes to telling the story about my relationship with Amen, all I can
come up with is something that usually ends up sounding like a Sunday
morning message in church. Why you ask? Well, it’s because Amen and I
are where we are today because I have no doubt that God destined for us
to be together. Cliché as that sounds, it’s the truth because Amen is a
confirmation that God loves me and our story would be incomplete if I
didn’t start with God.
Meeting Amen for the first time at the movies during spring break of
2007, I was just so happy to finally know someone else who was really
young and in college. Most people I knew back then marveled that I got
into TCC at 15 years old even though it was very normal to me as I had
gone through high school in Nigeria before moving to the U.S. Amen was
one of the few people who quickly saw that it was a normal thing, and
that I wasn’t a genius or anything – I could barely even compose two
sentences without throwing a bullet because who English epp?
We met through our mutual friends at the movies and it was just a
very regular meeting FOR ME! I was there with my bestie and I kept
trying to ship her with Amen because they both had similar body build
back in the day. I would call both of them and force three way phone
calls after 9pm when it was free. My bestie was NOT having any of it but
I seriously thought Amen was amazing and really enjoyed chatting with
him and that was the beginning of it all o.
Though I thought so highly of him, it never occurred to me that I
should date him. I believe Amen didn’t mind my cupid playing ways as
long as it meant I’d still be in the middle of things and talk to him.
Dude just enjoyed getting to talk to me and didn’t hide it at all –
Please don’t believe it when he tells you that I chatted him up first.
LOL In the beginning of our friendship, Amen didn’t express bluntly that
he wanted to date me, so we were just friends, and friendship was all
that I thought and felt. I liked him, enjoyed chatting with him a lot
and was so free with him that I’d find myself sharing intimate details
about my life with him. We’d be on our Facebook walls chatting for hours
and talking on the phone almost every single day back then (Amen’s
calls/texts are amongst the reasons my dad had to switch our mobile plan
to unlimited everything – Lol… I love you Daddy!).
Conversations with Amen were so fluid and I eventually stopped trying
to put him and my bestie together when it became apparent that they
both wouldn’t get past their age difference and when Amen explicitly
showed that he was interested in me. Well, as a fine girl who was also
equally stupid, I told Amen I only liked him as a friend and would even
tell him about other boys I was talking to. He’d listen like a champ and
just tell me to be careful. He gave me selfless advice and was always
so understanding. The crazy thing about the whole thing however was that
no matter how many guys I connected with or talked to or tried to make
it work with, I’d always compare them with Amen and not be fully
satisfied with them. The relationships I tried to make work with other
guys somehow ended up not working due to one reason or another.
Amen continued to be my very good friend whom I knew I wanted in my
life forever, but wasn’t into like that. Talk about friend-zoning before
it became a word. I am however not proud of myself for treating him as
just a friend all those years, because I realize that I wasted so much
time not acknowledging God’s gift and blessing in my life. Amen has been
everything that 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 describes to me. I will forever
willingly admit I was foolish and blinded by the stupid things in life
when I gave him so much grief by not accepting to be his girlfriend.
Admittedly, I was young and just a teenager but I seriously wasted so
much time in recognizing that everything I felt towards Amen is called
Love. Fast forward to the spring of 2008, I knew at this point that if I
was to date Amen, it’d have to be FOR THE LONG HAUL because he was
always so focused and appeared to know exactly what he wanted in life.
You know, those people who said that girls matured faster than boys
obviously never met Amen because he was always way ahead of everyone
else his age. In his teenage years, Amen was already on fire for Christ,
always included God in everything he did and I just didn’t want to ruin
him by being his girlfriend.
We were 18 and I thought to myself that we had the whole world ahead
of us, and there was just no reason to fully commit to dating someone I
knew would want a long term relationship. About that same spring of
2008, I made it a life mission to get Amen to kiss me so that I could
confirm our compatibility and then finally say yes to being his
Well, that plan failed miserably because Le Boo shut me DOWN and said
the right way, or no other way. I’ll be honest with you, I was very
disappointed and told him we couldn’t date if he wouldn’t even kiss me.
Something I would later come to regret, because right after spring break
2008, I headed back to school in Oklahoma and it was on my way back to
school that I got into a car accident – a story I will not get into
right now as most of you already know it. As I was in the Intensive Care
Unit (ICU) and during my physical rehabilitation, Amen was the one
constant person I’d tell everything to other than my best friend. I
would share the nitty gritty details of what the doctors said was
happening to me with Amen, and he’d go on the internet and read more
about what life meant with a spinal cord injury so that he could better
relate with me. Communication was the rock on which we started this
relationship and we still talk about any and everything on the surface
of the earth. I’ve learned so much from my love and I’m inspired by how
hardworking, smart, God-fearing, kind and genuine he is.
After the car accident, Amen continued to make it a point to let me
know that he was still interested in having me as his girlfriend –
however I was just not having it because I didn’t feel like I deserved
to be loved by him. We were friends and that was that. I wasn’t willing
to automatically accept his proposal to date me after the car accident.
As a matter of fact, the car accident became a MAJOR reason why I was
determined that dating Amen just wasn’t going to happen. First, was
because I felt like I was damaged goods and second was that though we
chatted frequently and I was already falling in love with Amen, he
hadn’t visited me in the hospital, and only came to the rehab once.
My 18 year-old self was quite hurt by his physical absence but I was
still so grateful for the emotional support he gave and also the
friendship that he maintained with me. After months of therapy and
finally getting back home, Amen would visit me at home constantly and it
was then that I came to find out the reasons beyond his control as to
why he hardly visited me during my hospitalization and rehabilitation. I
forgave him and the hurt I felt was no longer a reason for not dating
Though I could deal with everything else life threw at me, I couldn’t
forgive myself for wasting so much time in accepting to be his
girlfriend. So while he continued to show me love and declare his
interest – even after the car accident – I did what every foolish girl
would do, and wasted even more time. I was in love with Amen and he knew
it, but I managed to convince myself that I was of no use to him and we
were still too young to go through any major life crisis together. Amen
wouldn’t budge. I even tried to date somebody else to send him away but
Amen persisted. My Christian and prayer life got stronger as we’d pray
together. With all of the love he showed me, I’d feel even worse. Why
was he so good to me I’d ask myself. I’d question God. I’d question
Amen. I’d question myself. We’d pray some more. Laugh some more. Cry
some more. Amen saw the raw version of me. He was patient, he was kind,
and he was once again everything in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 to me. He saw
my unedited version and still loved me.
He’s not a man of many words yet he found the words and backed it up
with actions because he was determined to break down my walls,
especially since I believe he knew I was falling in love with him but
just wouldn’t allow myself to LOVE him.
We remained friends and I went back to college in January 2009.
Living a new life with spinal cord injury and in nursing school, I’d
share everything with Amen! We’d Skype, call each other and were
basically inseparable. We shared something we knew was deeper than we
could put a label to, but we both knew we had to define our relationship
and make progress in life. As I was healing from the physical trauma
caused by the car accident, I was also healing emotionally and coming to
terms with the fact that God had given me a second chance at life and
at Love. Praying together, laughing together, crying together, and doing
everything together, I came to realize that Amen is my blessing from
God and if I ever had any moment of doubt of how much God loves me, all I
had to do was look at Amen and I’d immediately be reminded that I am
blessed beyond what I deserve. Amen asked me to officially be his
girlfriend on Valentine’s Day year 2009 and with all the love and joy in
my heart, I said YES! Did I mention we eventually had our first kiss
and it was EVERYTHING? Ok, TMI… but everything I ever worried about
regarding dating Amen was so insignificant looking back on it now.
Having officially dated for 7 years, LAWWWDD I AM SOOOO ready to be his
I am so in love with Amen and although our story is not one of boy
meets girl, both fall instantly in love, I am surely grateful for where
we are right now. I’ll continue saying to him and to anyone who cares to
listen that I wish I could change so many things about our journey, but
deep down inside of me, I am just JOYFUL that it was still OUR Journey.
How We Fell In Love
From the Groom, Amen
I liked Lizzy when I heard about her, fell in love when I saw her. Now I want to cultivate my love for her forever.
Like at First Hear I first heard of Lizzy at my home boy D-mite’s
house (music producer extraordinaire). A bunch of us were over there
laying some tracks and spitting verses (yes, I was a rapper in my other
life LOL) and the name Lizzy Immature came up. She was a
Nigerian girl who started college at 15 years old and got the immature
nickname to differentiate her from another Elizabeth who was older. I
quietly took notice of her because I too was young when I started
college and I had a feeling we would relate.
Love at First Sight I finally met this Lizzy immature at the movies
on an unforgettable day in 2007. I was leaving the theatre with my
brother, D-mite and other friends; while, Lizzy was just arriving with
her best friend, Faith. She and I couldn’t have been any more polar
I was the shy skinny dude in the corner while she was the life of the
gathering. She had her 8.0-megapixel camera (inside joke) and was
determined to use it to break every wall of shyness around her. We all
took pictures and although I had my mind set on Lizzy the entire time;
everyone else, including her, though I had a thing for her best friend
Faith. Faith is cool peoples and she has been instrumental in Lizzy and I
being together but Lizzy was it for me.
She is the perfect combination of pretty and outgoing that brings the
excitement to my life. Case and point, when I got home I mustered
enough courage to add her on Facebook Lol (FB was the in thing for
college folks back then). However, after she accepted my friend request I
shied out again and did not talk to her. Lizzy wasn’t having it lol so
she sent me a message first (even though she wouldn’t admit, I think she
was interested too). It was all the fuel I needed to step up my game.
Cultivating Our Love: Lizzy and I have been dating
for over 8 years now and it has been one of those growing experiences
that keep getting better with time. I remember when we first started
talking. It was non-stop Facebook (FB) messaging and back and forth
poking (I don’t get why FB poking was so fascinating then). Our
conversations will go to the wee-wee hours of the night with no topic
off limits. We could start at family and end in politics or music and
end at school (I wish y’all could get a glimpse of our banter, it is for
the fonder). My favourite thing we would talk about is our faith and
She was subject for the development of my affinity for exhortation
and uplifting her uplifted me. FB Messages turned into phone calls and
phone calls turned into dates and dates into experiences. What haven’t
we done (for real, someone tell me so I can add to our to-do list).
We’ve gone to concerts, baseball games, seen plays and even experienced
skydiving (everyone should try it once even if it is simulated with a
big fan like ours was lol). I think every man’s dream is to find someone
you enjoy who enjoys you. Now, throw in Lizzy’s live to the fullest
personality amongst her other attributes; I’ve found exciting
companionship in enjoying the fullness of life. I want this forever so I
invested in a ring and I went to ask her father for her hand.
Photo and story credit: Bellanaija Weddings!