Comedian, Ayobami Ayo-Ajewole, aka Woli Agba, and his wife, Olaife, speak with TOFARATI IGE about their marriage.
How did you meet your spouse?
Woli Agba: We met at
the venue of a church program. My group and I were invited to minister
at a church in my wife’s school, Kogi State University.
the venue of a church program. My group and I were invited to minister
at a church in my wife’s school, Kogi State University.
Was it love at first sight?
Woli Agba: For me, it
was love at first sight. In fact, it was marriage at first sight. On
that first day that I set my eyes on her, I told her that she would be
my wife.
was love at first sight. In fact, it was marriage at first sight. On
that first day that I set my eyes on her, I told her that she would be
my wife.
Olaife: For me, it was
not love at first sight because I didn’t believe he was serious when he
expressed his mind. However, in a very short time, I discovered I had
feelings for him hiding somewhere in my heart.
not love at first sight because I didn’t believe he was serious when he
expressed his mind. However, in a very short time, I discovered I had
feelings for him hiding somewhere in my heart.
What qualities did you see in your spouse that convinced you he/she was the one?
Woli Agba: I saw a
wife. I saw a perfect partner for me. She sings, speaks good English and
she is naturally beautiful even without makeup and these are some of
the qualities I look out for in a woman. I know God has a hand in it
because I met her after a prayer retreat I had, and I saw a sign when I
met her.
wife. I saw a perfect partner for me. She sings, speaks good English and
she is naturally beautiful even without makeup and these are some of
the qualities I look out for in a woman. I know God has a hand in it
because I met her after a prayer retreat I had, and I saw a sign when I
met her.
Olaife: I saw a focused
man who made me happy. I laughed uncontrollably the first time we
talked. I asked him so many questions and he answered all of them
convincingly.
man who made me happy. I laughed uncontrollably the first time we
talked. I asked him so many questions and he answered all of them
convincingly.
How did you propose to her?
Woli Agba: Like I said,
it was marriage at first sight. I saw her in the midst of a crowd, but I
singled her out and told her that she would be my wife. When our
relationship clocked one month, I made a proposal to her to commit
myself more to her and to make her believe that I was serious.
it was marriage at first sight. I saw her in the midst of a crowd, but I
singled her out and told her that she would be my wife. When our
relationship clocked one month, I made a proposal to her to commit
myself more to her and to make her believe that I was serious.
What was your reaction when he proposed?
Olaife: I didn’t
believe he was serious about it because he started calling me his wife
and said that we would get married from the first day he saw me. He had
to persuade some people, that I don’t want to mention, to convince me
that he was serious. When our relationship clocked a month and he
surprised me with a serious proposal, I concluded that I had found my
crown.
believe he was serious about it because he started calling me his wife
and said that we would get married from the first day he saw me. He had
to persuade some people, that I don’t want to mention, to convince me
that he was serious. When our relationship clocked a month and he
surprised me with a serious proposal, I concluded that I had found my
crown.
How would you sum your marriage experience so far?
Woli Agba: My marital
experience has been so sweet. Although, I was initially scared of
getting married because of some broken marriages I saw in my
neighborhood, coupled with the fact that people told me that women
change after they get married. However, our case is different, and I can
boldly say that marriage is sweet.
experience has been so sweet. Although, I was initially scared of
getting married because of some broken marriages I saw in my
neighborhood, coupled with the fact that people told me that women
change after they get married. However, our case is different, and I can
boldly say that marriage is sweet.
Olaife: He has said it all. Marriage is wonderful; it brings peace, and is sweet.
How often do you quarrel?
Woli Agba: Sincerely,
we hardly quarrel; it’s very rare. My wife is my friend and I always
enjoy having her around me. We are free with ourselves and we gist about
virtually everything; there’s nothing we don’t talk about. I miss her
company and delicacies whenever I am not home. She knows what I don’t
like and vice versa. She knows when to say sorry. I likewise make her
happiness my watchword. We love to be happy.
we hardly quarrel; it’s very rare. My wife is my friend and I always
enjoy having her around me. We are free with ourselves and we gist about
virtually everything; there’s nothing we don’t talk about. I miss her
company and delicacies whenever I am not home. She knows what I don’t
like and vice versa. She knows when to say sorry. I likewise make her
happiness my watchword. We love to be happy.
Olaife: The chance of
us quarreling is very slim because my husband is reasonably playful. I
laugh uncontrollably at home every time as if I’m at a comedy show. He
loves making the atmosphere lively. It’s not like we don’t get angry but
God has always been helping us that occasionally when we have
disagreements, it does not last long before issues are resolved.
us quarreling is very slim because my husband is reasonably playful. I
laugh uncontrollably at home every time as if I’m at a comedy show. He
loves making the atmosphere lively. It’s not like we don’t get angry but
God has always been helping us that occasionally when we have
disagreements, it does not last long before issues are resolved.
Who usually apologises first when you have disagreements?
Woli Agba: She does actually.
Olaife: I do because
whenever he is unhappy, the house would be boring. And of course, I am
the lady, so even if I am not wrong, I would apologise for peace to
reign.
whenever he is unhappy, the house would be boring. And of course, I am
the lady, so even if I am not wrong, I would apologise for peace to
reign.
How do you cope with your husband’s female admirers?
Olaife: During
courtship, it was difficult for me but since we got married, I know I’m
his wife, so I need not worry. And of course, he helps me by telling me
about his admirers. I also pray for him.
courtship, it was difficult for me but since we got married, I know I’m
his wife, so I need not worry. And of course, he helps me by telling me
about his admirers. I also pray for him.
Why do you think celeb marriages don’t often last?
Woli Agba: The only
factor that destroys celebrity marriages is pride. If pride can be dealt
with, marriages will last. Fame brings pride when care is not taken.
The fact that the celeb is the talk of the town may have gone to his or
her head and the spouse will likely suffer from it. A female celeb will
have bigwigs in the society as fans, and this may make her despise her
husband. Same goes for the man, because ladies would always flock
around him. Pride would make him feel his wife would be the loser if she
leaves him. However, humility will make the man ensure that he praises
his wife and adores her when necessary.
factor that destroys celebrity marriages is pride. If pride can be dealt
with, marriages will last. Fame brings pride when care is not taken.
The fact that the celeb is the talk of the town may have gone to his or
her head and the spouse will likely suffer from it. A female celeb will
have bigwigs in the society as fans, and this may make her despise her
husband. Same goes for the man, because ladies would always flock
around him. Pride would make him feel his wife would be the loser if she
leaves him. However, humility will make the man ensure that he praises
his wife and adores her when necessary.
Do you keep a joint account, and would you advise couples to do same?
Woli Agba: We don’t
keep a joint account, but it’s not something that we cannot do. We are
happy with anything we mutually agree to do. Having a joint account is
not bad, but it must be a mutual agreement between the couple.
keep a joint account, but it’s not something that we cannot do. We are
happy with anything we mutually agree to do. Having a joint account is
not bad, but it must be a mutual agreement between the couple.
What pet names do you have for each other?
Woli Agba: She calls me honey.
Olaife: He calls me my wife, iyawo Ayo (Ayo’s wife) and honey’s wife.
Do you usually buy gifts for each other?
Olaife: Yes, we do that very often.
Do you regularly go on dates?
Woli Agba: My busy
schedule has not given us the chance to do that as much as we would have
loved to. But we take walks together in the evenings whenever I’m
around.
schedule has not given us the chance to do that as much as we would have
loved to. But we take walks together in the evenings whenever I’m
around.
What other things do you do to keep the fire of your love burning?
Olaife: We pray, and we
talk to ourselves. We express whatever we have in our minds immediately
so that it wouldn’t lead to bottled up emotions.
talk to ourselves. We express whatever we have in our minds immediately
so that it wouldn’t lead to bottled up emotions.
What is unique about your marriage?
Woli Agba: I don’t
think there is anything new again. But all the things that make a good
marriage reflect in our home. We are the final audience of ourselves.
Anything we have discussed is settled in our minds. We don’t need to
talk to any other person after we have discussed.
think there is anything new again. But all the things that make a good
marriage reflect in our home. We are the final audience of ourselves.
Anything we have discussed is settled in our minds. We don’t need to
talk to any other person after we have discussed.
Can you recall the most memorable time of your marriage?
Woli Agba: Everyday is
memorable for me. But one that stands out was the day I organised a
surprise birthday celebration for my wife. I had to hide her family and
friends at her workplace unknown to her before she got to the office.
memorable for me. But one that stands out was the day I organised a
surprise birthday celebration for my wife. I had to hide her family and
friends at her workplace unknown to her before she got to the office.
Olaife: The most
memorable time was my birthday surprise. On that day, I got a call from
my boss that I should quickly report to the office; not knowing it was
the handwork of my husband. He even dropped me off at the office, not
knowing that he had planted my family and friends at one of the offices
already decorated to surprise me.
memorable time was my birthday surprise. On that day, I got a call from
my boss that I should quickly report to the office; not knowing it was
the handwork of my husband. He even dropped me off at the office, not
knowing that he had planted my family and friends at one of the offices
already decorated to surprise me.
What are the key ingredients needed to sustain a marriage?
Woli Agba: Love. Make
sure the person you want to marry is someone you really love. Don’t
manage to love anyone because makeup will not be on her face when you
sleep and wake up.
sure the person you want to marry is someone you really love. Don’t
manage to love anyone because makeup will not be on her face when you
sleep and wake up.
Olaife: Couples must
learn to understand each other. And communication is key; talk about
everything even when it is not necessary. You should also enjoy each
other’s company.
learn to understand each other. And communication is key; talk about
everything even when it is not necessary. You should also enjoy each
other’s company.
Does your husband partake in household chores?
Olaife: Though he is usually busy, but he does some chores partially.
Does he cook?
Woli Agba: Yes, I cook.
Olaife: Yes, he can cook water.
What advice do you have for intending couples?
Woli Agba: Marriage is a
very wonderful institution which requires prayers. You need to be very
sure God is leading you to marry the person you’re with. Open your eyes
and don’t let anyone choose for you. No one will live with you both when
you are married. Be very observant during courtship. If you cannot cope
with anything during courtship, you would not likely be able to live
with it in marriage.
very wonderful institution which requires prayers. You need to be very
sure God is leading you to marry the person you’re with. Open your eyes
and don’t let anyone choose for you. No one will live with you both when
you are married. Be very observant during courtship. If you cannot cope
with anything during courtship, you would not likely be able to live
with it in marriage.