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Tuesday

I am suicidal and living in a $70 a night New Jersey motel - Sinéad O'Connor cries out in New Facebook video


Troubled singer Sinéad O'Connor released a new Facebook video where she said she's depressed, suicidal and living in a motel in New Jersey.

In the video, a teary Sinéad details her current state of affairs, saying: "I'm all by myself. And there's absolutely nobody in my life except my doctor, my psychiatrist - the sweetest man on earth, who says I'm his hero - and that's about the only f******* thing keeping me alive at the moment, the fact that I'm his bloody hero, and that's kind of pathetic."
The 50-year-old musician posted the clip on Facebook last week revealing she was all by herself at the $70-a-night Travelodge motel and fighting to stay alive every day. Sitting on the bed of the room in Hackensack, the mother-of-four weeps through much of the video as she reveals she's suffering from three mental illnesses. O'Connor was diagnosed with bipolar disorder more than a decade ago.
The "Nothing Compares 2 U" singer said: "Mental illness, it's like drugs," she said. She added that it doesn't care who you are and the stigma resulting thereof is worse.
"Suddenly all the people that are supposed to be loving you and taking care of you are treating you like s***... and then when you're angry or you're hurt because they're doing it, it's like a witch hunt."
She went on to add: "The people who suffer from mental illness are the most vulnerable people on earth. We can't take of ourselves."
Sinéad said she made the video for others who are mentally ill. She said she is fighting to stay alive because "I love the people that are doing this to me. I'm not staying alive for me. If it was for me, I'd be gone."
She added: "If it was just for me I'd be gone. Straight away back to my mum... because I've walked this earth alone for two years now as punishment for being mentally f***ing ill and getting angry that no one would f***ing take care of me.
"I'm a 5ft 4in little f***ing woman wandering the world for two years by myself."
She said in the video that she's "begging, begging, begging, begging, begging to be brought home."
Sinéad has been going through depression for a while now and has made several attempts on her life. In December 2015, she wrote a suicide note in which she says she intentionally overdosed on pills.
She wrote: "The last two nights have finished me off. I have taken an overdose. There is no other way to get respect. I am not at home, I'm at a hotel, somewhere in Ireland, under another name. There is only so much a woman can be expected to bear. After everything I've been put through, and been forced to go through alone, they wouldn't know if I was dead until weeks from now."
She was found alive a few days later and was hospitalized. While in hospital, she begged her estranged children to come visit her in the hospital, children whom she had previously said were "dead to me."
In May 2016, Chicago police issue an alert deeming Sinead "missing, suicidal" after she took off on a motorized Raleigh-brand bicycle and didn't return. Around the same time, she posted strange messages on social media. On May 16, she was found safe.
Guests staying at the same New Jersey motel as O'Connor have expressed shock that someone like her will be staying in a place like that and not at a five-star hotel. A woman staying at the motel told Page Six that O'Connor had been staying there for a week.
"She had a hospital band on her wrist," the woman said. She added that O'Connor kept to herself but "left her door wide open all week except at night" and would often go to the Pepsi machine. She said the first time she saw the Irish singer she told her boyfriend: "That looks like an old Sinead O'Connor."
Immediately O'Connor posted the video, the footage immediately sparked fear among her fans.
One wrote: "To Sinead's kids get over and help your mother, she is crying out for you all, forget what has happened and forgive, keep forgiving her until you get over there and give her a hug."

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