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Sunday

50 year old woman recounts how her husband stopped her from achieving her dreams

My name is Mrs Chika Danladi, I am 50yrs old. I studied Estate Management at the University and graduated with upper-credit. I had really big dreams for myself, to be an estate Developer, I knew I would be good at it
.
Just before youth service, I met my husband. I did not hide my dreams and aspirations from him and he promised to be supportive. During youth service I found a job as an estate developer and resumed immediately youth service was over, I also got married almost immediately I started the new job
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Months into our marriage, my husband asked me to stop working. I was shocked, this man promised to support me, this was a job I really loved. But in those days, what woman would pick a job over her marriage? I was not happy but I stopped working as per his instructions. He then opened a shop for me.
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See how my dreams and aspirations just vanished because my husband said so? Every single day as I sit in this shop I wish I had stayed back at my job, I wonder if my husband would have left me because of that. I wish for too many things now, but I'm 50, there's not much I can do. I hope women learn though, to stand their ground and also take care of their own dreams. It is as important as a man's. I really wish I was strong enough to say "No" then, honestly I wish for a lot of things
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14 comments:

omolara ajike said...

Endtime hubby. Really feel for the woman

Sweetheart said...

I can't imagine how she feels.. *sigh*

Highness Gwen said...

Ehyaaaa.I can't give up my dreams because of a man oh.

Debola said...

For me, any husband that can't support his wife's dream ain't a good husband.
You should have stood ur ground when you had the chance.

Anonymous said...

I really really could understand the feeling.
I am a lawyer, but have not been called to the Nigeria Bar. Though I failed my exams the 1st time I took it due to pregnancy induced sickness. God so kind I had my baby, and by the time I was to re sit it in February, I got to know that I was pregnant with my 2nd baby. So I knew that there was no way I can cope.
So when I had my 2nd baby, told hubby that I will start getting ready for re sit, he made it clear that he's totally not in support of it. Meanwhile, I am not working, he hardly gives me money, though foodstuffs and groceries are always available. But meeeh, I need cash to do some stuff. That was when it dawn on me that he wants me to be a full time house wife!
Agreed, he works and earn good pay and have good investments, but I just knew that I can't be happy not finishing what I started.
I rebelled. Collected 100k from my sister. Because I begged him to support me he he refused. And didn't want to give me money for registering. So registered for the exams in February, it wasn't easy at all and he sure it very difficult for me. I had to attend revision classes daily 9-2pm daily for 8weeks. Come home and face my children and to make it more difficult, I don't have a house help. But God was with me.
Eventually, I wrote my exams.
Results came out 5weeks later and your girl Made it!
Will be called to Bar in less than two weeks time.

Hubby wanted to frustrate me but I didn't allow it. Maybe I was able to withstand because my mother was a victim just like the lady in the story. She had to abandon her career just to remind in marriage, and eventually the marriage crashed.
So now hubby is super excited, the wig and gown he got me was a very expensive one from the UK.
Now making arrangements to fly my mom and the kids to Abuja for my Call to Bar. I was like, shebi you were trying to frustrate me then, his defence is usually, babe biko try and forgive me, the devil wanted to break our home.
Well, my reason for this long story is to encourage us. Please don't! DON'T even put your life, career on hold for any one.
Have to go anonymous on this.

omolara ajike said...

Honestly bae, gimme high five! You spoke well. 100percent with you

Ify Lovie Lovie said...

Some husbands are so afraid of their wives being a success story.
May God save us from such wicked men.

hater of this blog said...

and again my dad did not stop my mom from working. kazeem let God help u u come to my moms shop again i will break ur legs😬😬😬

Debola said...

Wow!
You stood your ground, now hubby is super proud of you.
Thanks for sharing your story. I hope others would learn from you.

Debola said...

Exactly. You're right.

daughter of mrs chika ibrahim said...

please this story is a false story im mom name is mrs chika ibrahim not danladi and danladi is my fathers name and d person who wrote d post is kazeem he knows my mother and the story is a false one it is a lie my mom was never stopped from chasing her dreams. she stopped working because of her sickness and she is happy with three children please bring down this post i am begging you.i am her daughter please my mother is angry and annoyed

Jason Dha Apostle said...

This one is strong ooo

Jason Dha Apostle said...

Some men ehen

omolara ajike said...

Ma'am, you really made my night 2nite. Honestly

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