Thursday

I married him to shut people up - Ese Walter who had an affair with COZA Pastor reveals she didn't love her OAP husband when she agreed to be his wife in 2014

The couple
Ese Walter who became popular after she made her alleged illicit affair with COZA pastor in Abuja public, has said that she married OAP Benny Ark, just to shut people's mouth up.

Ese revealed that she didn't love her husband when they got married two and a half years ago and had issues trusting him so many months after marriage. 

How ever, she added that has gotten some help and is currently dealing with all the issues. 

She shared the photo above and wrote this epistle on Instagram:

"When I agreed to marry him two and a half years ago, I didn't love him. Heck I didn't love my own self. I just needed a change of story. I needed to stop being the girl everyone called an evil mistress and "graduate" to somebody's Mrs. I thought the Mrs title was going to save my ass and bring me some sort of redemption. I was wrong.
Calling what happened next a disaster is putting it mildly. Weeks into living together brought out the worse in both of us. I thought I made a mistake. I didn't trust him so why was I married to him. We would argue over everything and I convinced myself I wanted out despite the baby on the way. In therapy I was able to face my own demons for the first time. I realised it was never about him or the other guys I dated. I was always looking for a fix outside of myself. I was always needing someone to take away the pain and save my lonely self. I was looking for what I wasn't because I thought that could heal me.
Months of living outside my comfort zone and going where the pain was brought me face to face with my demons that saved me. I didn't trust him because I didn't trust me. I couldn't love him because I had no love to give. I was always blaming him because it was easier to project than take responsibility. As I started to evolve and see my own self, I was able to see him for the first time. As I started loving myself, I was able to love him and now as I learn to trust myself, I am trusting him, one day at a time. As I lay beside him last night I remembered a quote I read sometime ago. I don't remember who said it but it read, "when you love the one you got, the one you got becomes the one you love." When I stopped trying to change him and let him be, I was able to give room for his own evolving. He ain't perfect. Who wants perfect anyways? I am learning that all is as it should be in the Universe, there are no mistakes only feedback. The Universe brought the one I needed for my evolving and I am thankful. GRATITUDE is my dominant feeling this morning. If you are struggling with the one you love, know that the world's standard of love is fucked up. Vibrate higher and love because of love."


Ese and COZA Pastor

6 comments:

  1. Hope you found closure.

    Enjoy your marriage.


    That picture with pastor Biodun though!

    ReplyDelete
  2. *allegedly had an affair with COZA Pastor ooo

    ReplyDelete
  3. Love her story so far. She acknowledged her defaults in early period of marriage. I want to believe d marriage is for stay

    ReplyDelete
  4. Why did you post the second picture? Anyway, thanks for sharing.

    ReplyDelete

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