Some weeks ago, an online lynch mob went
for the head of the General Overseer of The Redeemed Christian Church
of God, Pastor Enoch Adeboye, after he had shared his opinions on
marriage at a ministers’ conference in his church. Adeboye, in reality,
did not say anything dissimilar to what most parental figures of his
generation would have if asked to comment in a similar situation.
for the head of the General Overseer of The Redeemed Christian Church
of God, Pastor Enoch Adeboye, after he had shared his opinions on
marriage at a ministers’ conference in his church. Adeboye, in reality,
did not say anything dissimilar to what most parental figures of his
generation would have if asked to comment in a similar situation.
The
triviality of his suggestions, however, did not stem the flow of outrage
against him. For one, Adeboye is a public figure and a rather
influential one whose opinion on every issue matters because they are
not confined to the precinct of his church.
triviality of his suggestions, however, did not stem the flow of outrage
against him. For one, Adeboye is a public figure and a rather
influential one whose opinion on every issue matters because they are
not confined to the precinct of his church.
While I do not see much value in the
manner the man was virulently castigated for holding on to his
traditional cultural values, I however think the cleric needs to be told
by those around him that the times are changing and his sermons need to
be updated to reflect the reality of the real world people now live in.
An insistence on rigid gender roles even as the ground beneath our feet
is shifting is one of the ways the society holds back everyone, male
and female. No gender was born to perform domesticity and none is
inherently enterprising either, these are values taught by the society.
manner the man was virulently castigated for holding on to his
traditional cultural values, I however think the cleric needs to be told
by those around him that the times are changing and his sermons need to
be updated to reflect the reality of the real world people now live in.
An insistence on rigid gender roles even as the ground beneath our feet
is shifting is one of the ways the society holds back everyone, male
and female. No gender was born to perform domesticity and none is
inherently enterprising either, these are values taught by the society.
If Adeboye can be forgiven for being
sequestered from emerging cultural realities, I think that of Pastor
Chris Oyakhilome of Christ Embassy’s sermon on marriage (HERE) is unpardonable.
The sermon itself is not new, it has been on YouTube since 2014 but the church posted it on their Facebook
page recently. The message rubbed off the public the wrong way and was
designated outrageous. For pastor whose wife recently divorced him to
share that kind of message almost six years after it was preached sounds
too much like self-vindication.
sequestered from emerging cultural realities, I think that of Pastor
Chris Oyakhilome of Christ Embassy’s sermon on marriage (HERE) is unpardonable.
The sermon itself is not new, it has been on YouTube since 2014 but the church posted it on their Facebook
page recently. The message rubbed off the public the wrong way and was
designated outrageous. For pastor whose wife recently divorced him to
share that kind of message almost six years after it was preached sounds
too much like self-vindication.
The disappointment of the public in
Oyakhilome’s retrogressive stance is understandable. As a much younger,
urbane, sleek, iPad wielding pastor who caters to a clientele of
upwardly mobile youth population, he is expected to be more progressive
on issues of marriage. Christ Embassy, indeed, evinces anti-traditional
values in a number of ways. They are the first church where I have seen
single ladies assigned roles of substantive preachers. In many other
churches, women’s roles revolve around their “submissive” positions. As
the second sex, they dutifully sweep the floor of the church, clean
toilets, decorate the altar, populate the choir, take up “welfare”
roles, occasionally take the offering, and if they are married to the
pastor, they get to preach about marriage during youth and singles’
meetings.
Oyakhilome’s retrogressive stance is understandable. As a much younger,
urbane, sleek, iPad wielding pastor who caters to a clientele of
upwardly mobile youth population, he is expected to be more progressive
on issues of marriage. Christ Embassy, indeed, evinces anti-traditional
values in a number of ways. They are the first church where I have seen
single ladies assigned roles of substantive preachers. In many other
churches, women’s roles revolve around their “submissive” positions. As
the second sex, they dutifully sweep the floor of the church, clean
toilets, decorate the altar, populate the choir, take up “welfare”
roles, occasionally take the offering, and if they are married to the
pastor, they get to preach about marriage during youth and singles’
meetings.
Oyakhilome’s sermon, unfortunately,
reveals him as another insecure self-serving male that uses the Bible to
assert male domination over women. In that sermon, he basically blamed
women for everything that was wrong in the world. Women have refuted
God’s definition of marriage and formed theirs; women think they are
equal to men; women this and women that. In fact, women are the reason
men strike one testicle against the other these days and can no longer
feel a spark!
reveals him as another insecure self-serving male that uses the Bible to
assert male domination over women. In that sermon, he basically blamed
women for everything that was wrong in the world. Women have refuted
God’s definition of marriage and formed theirs; women think they are
equal to men; women this and women that. In fact, women are the reason
men strike one testicle against the other these days and can no longer
feel a spark!
Come to think of it, Oyakhilome’s views
are in consonance with the Bible that puts all the blame for what is
wrong in the world today on women and their appetite. They say if Eve
had not eaten the apple, we would all still be in the Garden of Eden and
we would not be feeling the recession! A number of creation myths that
originated in the same culture that produced the Bible parrot each other
in heaping all the blame on the woman. The problem with uncritical
readers like Oyakhilome is that they conveniently forget that the Bible
was written and curated by men who put their bigoted opinions in God’s
mouth. Pastors should stop acting as if the Bible was devoid of any
human interference. There are a number of critical works by scholars who
have dug into religious history and shown us the agenda behind Bible
creation.
are in consonance with the Bible that puts all the blame for what is
wrong in the world today on women and their appetite. They say if Eve
had not eaten the apple, we would all still be in the Garden of Eden and
we would not be feeling the recession! A number of creation myths that
originated in the same culture that produced the Bible parrot each other
in heaping all the blame on the woman. The problem with uncritical
readers like Oyakhilome is that they conveniently forget that the Bible
was written and curated by men who put their bigoted opinions in God’s
mouth. Pastors should stop acting as if the Bible was devoid of any
human interference. There are a number of critical works by scholars who
have dug into religious history and shown us the agenda behind Bible
creation.
For Oyakhilome, marriage is not about
love and companionship but two unequals who agree to be yoked together;
the man asserting authority and the woman submitting, obeying, and
practically whittling herself so that her husband can look bigger. The
sermon was infantilising, subtly valorises domestic violence and a total
embarrassment.
love and companionship but two unequals who agree to be yoked together;
the man asserting authority and the woman submitting, obeying, and
practically whittling herself so that her husband can look bigger. The
sermon was infantilising, subtly valorises domestic violence and a total
embarrassment.
What I am really curious about is
whether Oyakhilome himself teaches his own two daughters the same kind
of claptrap he feeds his congregation. I really will like to know if
Oyakhilome wakes his daughters up in the morning and instructs them to
respect their future husbands as their “masters” because he is not
simply “another woman”? Does he also tell them that womanhood is a
spiritually and socially degraded position, and that their chance at
successful marital relationship is contingent on their firing the embers
of their husband’s ego whenever it smolders? Does he teach them that
they were an afterthought, created after God had made the ideal – the
man? As he watches his own daughters grow into womanhood, does he tell
them that their happiness depends on understanding a man, worshipping
him and servicing his needs? If Oyakhilome had a son, would he have
raised him to believe that women were created for his service and
pleasure? In case Oyakhilome does not know, such messages about women
existing to service male pleasure, have been interwoven within cultures
for ages and is a principal promoter of sexual violence.
whether Oyakhilome himself teaches his own two daughters the same kind
of claptrap he feeds his congregation. I really will like to know if
Oyakhilome wakes his daughters up in the morning and instructs them to
respect their future husbands as their “masters” because he is not
simply “another woman”? Does he also tell them that womanhood is a
spiritually and socially degraded position, and that their chance at
successful marital relationship is contingent on their firing the embers
of their husband’s ego whenever it smolders? Does he teach them that
they were an afterthought, created after God had made the ideal – the
man? As he watches his own daughters grow into womanhood, does he tell
them that their happiness depends on understanding a man, worshipping
him and servicing his needs? If Oyakhilome had a son, would he have
raised him to believe that women were created for his service and
pleasure? In case Oyakhilome does not know, such messages about women
existing to service male pleasure, have been interwoven within cultures
for ages and is a principal promoter of sexual violence.
No, I do not drag Oyakhilome’s children
into this conversation lightly but my observation about men like him is
that they will not allow the abuse they mete out to their wives be
visited on their own daughters. Such men want their sons-in-law to
extend them the level of courtesy they did not deem worthy of their own
fathers-in-law whose daughters became their physical and emotional punch
bag.
into this conversation lightly but my observation about men like him is
that they will not allow the abuse they mete out to their wives be
visited on their own daughters. Such men want their sons-in-law to
extend them the level of courtesy they did not deem worthy of their own
fathers-in-law whose daughters became their physical and emotional punch
bag.
Yet, it is pertinent to ask if in his quiet moments, when he
filters the essence of his message through his own children, he remains
consistent and adheres to the message of his own sermon. Would
Oyakhilome hand over his own children in marriage to a man raised on a
steady diet of junk sermons like this and who has grown into a brat with
a cultivated sense of entitlement, self-importance and is overall,
defective?
filters the essence of his message through his own children, he remains
consistent and adheres to the message of his own sermon. Would
Oyakhilome hand over his own children in marriage to a man raised on a
steady diet of junk sermons like this and who has grown into a brat with
a cultivated sense of entitlement, self-importance and is overall,
defective?
Oyakhilome – and his defenders, I expect
– may claim that his sermons were divinely inspired, that his words
adhere to the Scriptures which they accept as the supreme authority and
which dictate their personal and religious ideology. However, they
should also be reminded that there is a reason we do no longer follow
many biblical commandments anymore. If we did, we would marry our
daughters to their rapists, stone people to death, and carry out
genocide in the name of God. Even Oyakhilome would not be perming his
hair with chemical products originally made for women. After all, did
not the Bible warn against men using things that pertain to women and
vice versa?
– may claim that his sermons were divinely inspired, that his words
adhere to the Scriptures which they accept as the supreme authority and
which dictate their personal and religious ideology. However, they
should also be reminded that there is a reason we do no longer follow
many biblical commandments anymore. If we did, we would marry our
daughters to their rapists, stone people to death, and carry out
genocide in the name of God. Even Oyakhilome would not be perming his
hair with chemical products originally made for women. After all, did
not the Bible warn against men using things that pertain to women and
vice versa?
Thus, the biblical literalism Oyakhilome
purportedly preaches is disingenuous; he knows the social
infrastructure of the times we live in no longer supports certain rules.
If Oyakhilome follows the Bible to the letter, he would not allow women
to speak up in his church let alone make them pastors. Why act as if
the patriarchal dictates of the Bible are immutable?
purportedly preaches is disingenuous; he knows the social
infrastructure of the times we live in no longer supports certain rules.
If Oyakhilome follows the Bible to the letter, he would not allow women
to speak up in his church let alone make them pastors. Why act as if
the patriarchal dictates of the Bible are immutable?
Finally, with the way Nigerian churches
are obsessed with marriage and frequently engage the topic, I think the
rest of the society should pay very close attention to the rhetoric
emanating from the church and be prepared to challenge them. We cannot
afford to roll over and play dead because these messages not only shape
the cultural milieu we inhabit and form the bedrock of our values, they
also influence major policies that relate to women’s health and place in
the society.
are obsessed with marriage and frequently engage the topic, I think the
rest of the society should pay very close attention to the rhetoric
emanating from the church and be prepared to challenge them. We cannot
afford to roll over and play dead because these messages not only shape
the cultural milieu we inhabit and form the bedrock of our values, they
also influence major policies that relate to women’s health and place in
the society.