Why?

Simple because the team failed to win any medal at the recently concluded Rio Olympics!

How incredible!

Zimbabwe was one of the countries in the RIO 2016 Olympics that returned home without a medal presented to its team of 31 athletes. The closest any of the athletes came to win a contest was at the 8th position.

Mr. Mugabe who is enraged with the National team’s performance told the Police Chief to arrest all the team members and detain them.
 “We have wasted the country’s money on these rats we call athletes. If you are not ready to sacrifice and win even copper or brass medals (referring the 4th and 5th positions) as our neighbors Botswana did, then why do you go to waste our money”  
 This situation is like an impotent man who is married to five women, what is the essence? I will make sure we share the cost across board for all of them to pay back to government chest even if it takes 10 years to recoup, now it turns out to be a soft loan we have given them to go and visit Brazil as tourist, they are useless” he reportedly concluded.

Mugabe who became the Prime Minister of Zimbabwe in the year 1980 and was then elected as the President in 1987 is famous for dozing off in public functions, and also his hilarious public speeches and his controversial quotes.

Some of his controversial quotes include:

“The only White man you can trust is a dead White man.” 


“So, Blair keep your England, and let me keep my Zimbabwe.” 


“We don’t mind having sanctions banning us from Europe. We are not Europeans.” 


“I’ve just concluded – since President Obama endorses the same-sex marriage, advocates homosexual people[sic], and enjoys an attractive countenance – thus if it becomes necessary, I shall travel to Washington, D.C., get down on my knee, and ask for his hand.” 

“Even Satan wasn’t gay; he chose to approach unclad Eve instead of unclad Adam."