Maya Angelou had Adenike Oyetunde in mind when she said: “You will
face many defeats in your life, but never let yourself be defeated.”
When you meet Adenike you would think she has it all going well for
her till you hear her story. Her zeal and optimism seems to be her
secret weapon.
At the age of 20, she had one of her limbs amputated .It was as if
her life has been cut short. She rose from the ashes of the adversity
and took responsibility for her life.
In this interview with Women Of Rubies, Adenike reveals
how she survived that dark phase in her life to become the on air
-personality everyone listens to on Nigeria Info FM
The beginning
February 4 2006, started me on the life changing journey I have
embarked on, these few years. It’s been a roller coaster ride, with its
ups and downs. A journey very less traveled, and so, the outcomes are
highly uncertain, as with similar trips. A journey where the destination
remains unclear, can only be traveled with God. It’s has made me get
close to him, been lukewarm, getting back to knowing him; and realizing
undoubtedly, the only thing else that makes sense, would be to be on His
team. It’s crazy, especially in a society like ours. We don’t even know
how many persons living with disabilities we have, and I suggest wonder
why some folks are surprised we can’t care for them. We don’t even know
the forms of disabilities, how do we care for them? I didn’t have
anything handed down to me, so far on this journey. I have had to kneel
before God especially for the biggest things men once thought were
obviously impossible to get. I have had to wonder if it may have been a
little different, only if I didn’t have to lose the use of my right
natural limb.
People somehow just expect you to be high and fly, almost at every
point in time; and when you’re not, they know it’s most definitely
because one has a special need. It’s been a crazy journey, but an
evidently worthwhile one.
Losing her limbs
Nothing ever prepares you for a life of limb loss. I was hardly ever
prepared, or so it seemed. In hindsight sometimes, I think I was
prepared, but had no idea, it was a training process. I can be so
annoying. I hang up the phone so easily, and I have been working on
that. I am a trustworthy person, if I do say so myself. Can be very
loquacious, but I definitely, know the limits.
My driving force
The reasons I am alive drives me. My visions, purpose of course are
embedded in these reasons and it’s systematic and progressive unveiling
will only happen through God
State of mind when I was told my leg would be amputated
Amazingly, I wasn’t destabilized this was because from the date of my
diagnosis, till the eventual amputation, I knew time was running out,
and I had no choice, save to amputate my limb. I was way mentally
prepared for the procedure, but of course, not the new realities I was
to face. I needed to jump start’ my life, and I knew the amputation was
the first step. I needed to go face it.
Passion for broadcasting
Truthfully, I looked for a job as a lawyer, but wasn’t successful,
because I hadn’t been pushy about it.Then came the season to re-discover
myself, and broadcasting was where my passion also lied. Of course, my
dad’s influence wouldn’t be undermined, as I remember growing up around
news studios, and on the Federal Radio Corporation of Nigeria ground. My
dad retired from the FRCN, as a manager News and Current Affairs.
Greatest influence on my life
Sometimes when I mention Jesus as my greatest life influence it just
gets me emotional. Another person who has continued to impact me is a
dear friend, Udy. Udy Ntia is my pastor, mentor and most importantly
friend. He has been able to help me to rediscover who I am and my
journey of purpose.
Tempted to quit
I have not been tempted to be suicidal .I have only been tempted to
give up. A number of times, I get so frustrated at the turn out of
events in life, and I begin to ask myself if the story may have changed,
only if I had both natural limbs. I hardly ever stay in this sort of
mood for so long, so I get back and keep moving.
Greatest Reward
My greatest reward has been the joy that fills my heart when people
unbeknownst to me, have gotten inspired by my story and become more
appreciative of their own situation.
Compassion and empathy are not the same
Nigerians are compassionate towards amputees. Unfortunately,
compassion and empathy are two very distinct, yet closely related terms.
It’s fine to show compassion, but there’s a very thin line, and that’s
where I usually have an issue. We are amputates, we understand you
simply are concerned about our wellbeing, but we need you to let us
‘fall and stand again. One would have thought the compassion would have
translated to so much, as better care for we amputees, or persons living
with disabilities, but that’s not the case. Those in the position to
effect the changes we need, to live a better quality of life, do not do
so.
Advise to women living with disabilities
Get up, yes you can. Please get up, move on. You can, and will do it.
Your hair will grow again, your love life will re-ignite, your finance
will stabilize, and your health will be restored.
Final words
The notion of the Nigerian woman we once had, has evolved. She has
grown in leaps and bounds. She has learnt to handle her home, career and
God, very well.So, everyone must discover, and as quickly as she can,
who she is, what she stands for, what she’s here for, and get to work.